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I like my male friend but he just told me he wanted to go visit another girl.

Tagged as: Crushes, Friends<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (2 July 2013) 6 Answers - (Newest, 3 July 2013)
A female United States age 36-40, *erina writes:

I'm starting to have romantic feelings for one of my guy friends and recently he mentioned in one of our conversations that he would really like to travel to see this other mutual friend (a girl) that lives in a different state.

Lately we have been talking more often about each our personal lives and suddenly he blurted that out. So now I'm unsure if he telling me that is a sign he only sees me a friend.

Part of the reason I've started having feelings for him is the fact we've been sharing a lot of personal stuff and thus becoming closer, but now I'm afraid this would just mean he's more comfortable towards me as just a friend and nothing more.

Would it indicate that I got friend-zoned or heading that way?

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A female reader, Merina United States +, writes (3 July 2013):

Merina is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thank you all for your replies!

He hasn't really showed any other signs that he could be interested in her but then again, he hasn't used the "really want to go see her" line before. Maybe I'm thinking too much about it, but somehow it felt he had to say it cause the day he mentioned it, he was the one who looked up for me to chat. And the chat before that one wasn't about her at all.

Forgot to add that about a month ago he said that it would be fun if the three of us could someday travel abroad together since we all enjoy traveling.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (3 July 2013):

So_Very_Confused agony auntI'm pretty sure he mentioned it because he can sense your change in feelings and he's trying to let you know that you are a friend and not to get your hopes up.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2013):

I don't think you are necessarily in the friend zone. All he said was that he wanted to visit a girl, and you said she's a mutual friend. Expressing interest in seeing a mutual friend does not necessarily mean you are just a friend. I wonder, has he expressed interest in her in other ways that would make you think he might like her?

That said, if you are interested in this guy, it might be wise to show interest so that you don't lose him to another girl. It might be wise to start thinking about how to express interest and explore more than friendship while the opportunity is there.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2013):

Yeah, I agree with the last poster, for the time being you're in the friend zone. But hey look at Rachel and Ross lol, people can change their feelings. Not so often but it happens! I've started to look at people I consider just friends in a new romantic way :)

Just accept it's not guna happen ATM and don't be so sad, just value the friendship; he's close to you enough to tell you personal stuff and you may well end up together. In the meantime, have fun and build connections with close ones :)

Take care :) xx

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (2 July 2013):

Honeypie agony auntI think you are friend-zoned - you might never have been regarded as anything BUT a friend, yet that is not small thing.

Sorry.

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A female reader, theres_always_a_loophole United States +, writes (2 July 2013):

theres_always_a_loophole agony auntIt's hard to say, but if he only mentioned he wanted to visit her and nothing else, I wouldn't read too much into it. Since the other girl is a mutual friend, it could be he just wants to visit her because it's been a long time since he last saw her. Did you stop to think if you lived in a different state, he would also want to visit you?

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