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My boyfriend dumped me out of blue.

Tagged as: Dating, Faded love, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (9 November 2010) 6 Answers - (Newest, 9 November 2010)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Hi

My bf broke up with me yesterday said he does not want to get attached to me and like to start dating other girls. i am feeling very depressed, couldnt concentrate on anything. I called him twice and he swiched off his phone. please someone help me. I loved him so much and tried to please him in all ways. i dont have a clue why he dumped me out of blue. Can i call him again? i am not sure whether he would talk to me. Please someone help me.

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A female reader, Viv Acious United Kingdom +, writes (9 November 2010):

Hello Sweetie...So sorry to hear about your break-up. I am sure all of us have been on both side of a break-up and being on the receiving end is just miserable, especially when you just did not see it coming. You are not alone in this feeling and you will get through it, honest.

I don't know the details of your relationship. How old you both are, how long you had been together or how well you actually know each other. To suddenly break up and say I just want to date other girls, on the one hand is extremely honest and on the other extremely callous. Either way, very painful for a girlfriend to hear. Sorry, hon.I know it hurts.

However, think of this....If this man really wants to play the field then I would think he had done you a favour and has ended your relationship. He hasn't just decided to string you along and cheat on you with other girls. And I am sure breaking-up has nothing to do with you as a person - but has everything to do with his raging hormones.

As for contacting him - just leave it. he isn't answering the phone partly because of guilt and partly because in his mind it is now over. So, let's leave him to his life and concentrate on getting you over this. Call your girlfriends! Get out the tissues, the punch-bag, the chocolate and just growl and snarl and sob it out of you!

Lots of love to you and good luck!xx

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A female reader, Princess Aunty Mauritius +, writes (9 November 2010):

MY first advice to you is NOT to call him. the more you run after a guy the more he will make you run after him. Cut all contacts with him and show him that his break up with you did not make much difference to you. this will surely affects him. and he might return. if he does not then he was never yours. set him free. and remember you can never FORCED someone to love you.

move on with your life girl

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A reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2010):

It sure would have been decent of him to give you a reason why he broke up with you.

Give it a week or so, then email him , and see what he does. Good luck. x

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A reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2010):

I agree fully with Aunt Honesty.

And I'm so sorry that you hurt the way you do.

It's not your fault, and there's nothing you can do or say to change his mind. Yes, he wants to play the field and not get tied down with one woman.

Please don't call him. He obviously doesn't want to hear from you. And you will regret it later if you do. I did something like that once and how I regret making a fool out of myself like that.

The good news is that this frees you up to date other guys. So get out there and have some fun. You're still young and there's someone special out there for you.

I wish you the best of luck!

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A male reader, dtla213 United States +, writes (9 November 2010):

Honestly it seems that he might have found another girl. If u keep calling him all u are really doing is showing him how weak u are and how much power over u he really has. Do yourself a favor and just get a vibrator and get over him. He is not worth it.

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (9 November 2010):

aunt honesty agony auntHi darling, i am sure you are still in shock and denial at the moment because you werent expecting it. Dont blame yourself it sounds like he just doesnt want to settle down at the moment he wants to play the field this is not your fault but am afraid you are going to have to accept that it is over, this is the only way for you to feel better, i no it is hard to hear but you have to move on and accept that he doesnt want to be in a relationship right now.

Dont try ringing him, he has already made it clear by not answering his phone that he doesnt want to talk to you, so dont make it harder on yourself by ringing him, you cant ring him you need space right now to accept that he is no longer part of your life hunny. Ring your friends or those close to you and ask them to come around for a night in with dvd's and chocolate and let them be your shoulder to cry on let it all out of your system and accept that it is over and you need to move on. Goodluck sweetie.

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