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Is my boyfriend trying to get me pregnant?

Tagged as: Pregnancy, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (9 November 2010) 9 Answers - (Newest, 11 November 2010)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

So I got the birth control shot and the doc told me I had 2 wait a wk. My bf was happy cause we agreed we didn't want any accidents especially when Im younger than him (not ready) and he said he doesnt want kids. I told him, you cant cum inside me. But then we did it and he came inside me before the wk was up. He did it again like twice after and said wow hope the shot wrks cause otherwise...then he grinned. Im confused. He doesnt want kids but hes taking chances like that? And he knows i dont like abortion.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2010):

Ok well I have to disagree with everyone else that has posted above. This is exactly the flirty stuff I used to say to my fiancee before we would have sex, and even after. We both had spoken about having kids one day; and both of us had at one time or another had said "well im not sure if I want kids at all." This was especially true for me because I have a son by another woman from a previous relationship. But the more time we spent together; my thoughts and feelings changed and so did her's We used to chart her cycle to keep from getting pregnant. Then one day I messed up. I came inside her on one of her most fertile days of her ovulation cycle. I looked at her and said, "baby Im so so sorry". We talked about it and all my joking and her joking truly reviled what we both really wanted. We await our son's birth this summer. Now I don't know your guy; but at least for me and my woman.....our jokes were glimpses of our true inner feelings.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2010):

No, he doesn't want kids and he's being pretty immature. Maybe he isn't a fan of wearing condoms. The thing is, it's your responsibilty too. If you're going to have sex then take some responsibility for your own actions.

If you knew that there was a chance of getting pregnant then why didn't you make sure he wore a condom or if he doesn't want to wear one at least wait until the birth control shot is supposed to work. You really need to think about being more assertive about this kind of thing because i'm sure the last thing you need right now is a baby.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2010):

97% of the time the guy DOES NOT WANT KIDS, he is just being irresponsible.

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A female reader, kalykush United States +, writes (9 November 2010):

kalykush agony auntIt's possible. But everyone is right YOU too are being careless. Although I highly doubt you will become pregnant.

To poster Fisch: Actually Pre-cum does NOT contain any sperm. The only way 'pre-cum' will contain sperm is IF the male had previously ejaculated... and even then the sperm that was left over is often sperm that is close to dead if not dead already. PRE CUM is a FALSE HOOD.

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A female reader, k_c100 United Kingdom +, writes (9 November 2010):

k_c100 agony auntSorry but you have to take some responsiblity here! You say you dont want kids, you say you dont like abortion - so why on earth are you letting him have sex with you without protection?!

As CaringGuy said - he is being a typical male. Yes he doesnt want children, but then again he is a young guy who likes sex, and for the majority of men having sex without a condom feels better than with one. So to get the chance to have sex without a condom - he will take that chance, regardless of the risk! And because he is male, they always know they can walk away even if their partner gets pregnant because it is not them carrying the baby. They know, if worse comes to worst, they can walk away, never see the child and only have to pay a little bit of money in support.

So really it is YOU that is trying to get yourself pregnant - clearly if you let him have sex with you without protection before the week is up then you are happy to have a baby. The reality is that if you are mature enough to be having sex, then you are mature enough to put your foot down with your boyfriend and not have sex for a week, or accept the consequences that you could very easily get pregnant.

It is YOUR body = YOUR responsibility. If he is too stupid to put a condom on, you should at least be the one that is sensible enough to either not have sex or insist he uses a condom. But YOU let him do this, therefore you will have to live with the consequences.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2010):

Actually it's your body, you should be making sure he wears a condom until it starts working. He doesn't have to cum inside you to make you pregnant, precum can do it too.

There's no use complaining about him ejaculating inside you, he did it once and you still didn't insist he wore a condom.

Why should he care bout coming inside you, it feels great and you're letting him, so why should he consider the consequences if you don't. He's not the one who stands to get pregnant.

Let me make it clear to you OP he couldn't care less about what happens, so you have to make sure nothing bad happens like getting pregnant. If you do it will be just as much your fault and what's worse is you'll have to deal with pregnancy and all that too. He gets to have the fun and you're the one who cleans up the mess.

"He doesnt want kids but hes taking chances like that?" why are you having unprotected sex when your birth control hasn't taken effect yet?

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A female reader, fisch777 United States +, writes (9 November 2010):

I agree with maverick, you both are being careless. The doctor told you to wait a while for a reason. Also, you told him to not cum inside you however you can get pregnant even without him cumming inside you. Theres a thing called pre-cum. Alot of guys don't even know when they pre-cum. If your going to have sex and not wait the 2 wks I would def. have him use a condom and if he says no then I would say no. Doing it that one or two times isn't worth getting pregnant, is it? If your going to have sex and your not ready to be a parent then be smart about it. Good luck.

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A female reader, maverick494 United States +, writes (9 November 2010):

What I don't get is why you didn't insist on using condoms or an morning after pill while you can still get pregnant. If you're serious about this, you would have. You're both being careless, so don't put all the blame on him.

As for what he meant. I have no idea, you should ask him. It could be a sarcastic remark (because he knows full well you two are being careless) or not. I don't know him so there's no way I can know what he means.

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (9 November 2010):

No, he doesn't want kids. Instead, he's being a stupid man and is relying on you to take the protection. I an assure you that this is the sort of guy who will run a mile in panic if you get pregnant. I would think twice about this relationship. You might well be setting yourself up here.

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