A
female
age
30-35,
*udith254
writes:The father of my child , did not put the effort to get me anything for valentines day . Yes we are together and have been for 3 years . He doesnt give me anything for my birthday nor our anniversary ,which he forgot about . Today is valentines day and I'm reAly upset . I dont know if I'm wrong for being upset or not . First of all on Christmas he asked me what I wanted for Christmas . Like realy ? I like to be surprised and wouldnt mind what it would be . But he gave me a iPad mini , out of 3 years this is the first gift he had gotten me . And this is only because I had got him his turntables he wanted way back and somehow he knew I bought it . So I guess he felt bad and wanted to get me something this year. So about today I get a text message saying "happy valentines day " and that he will be over at my house in a few . I was so excited , and hoping he finally did something for me and surprise me with roses and a kiss at least . Once he showed up and walked in he just said "hi " and then said he was going to pay off a ticket which is $60 a month. He comes back and still nothing , by this time it's already 2pm and he knows I go to work at 5pm . So im upset but not showing emotion because I should've known , he does this every year . I wouldn't even care if it was a little note on a piece of paper that said "i love you" . I didn't get him anything because I knew he wasn't going to give me anything and wanted him to know how I feel . Am I wrong for being upset ? Is this love ? Should I leave my child father? I reAly want to know some opinions . Oh and by the way he has over 1400 on him . He counted It in front of me bragging . I'm on a budget because I pay for my sons food,diapers,cloths . He doesn't buy anything for his son but he does spend time with him and helps me change him but that is it . He doesn't feed him or take him a bath at all . I do all of the work ! . What should I do ? ... I reall have been trying to work things out for our son but it's not working . He's stingy man , he gives his mother money rather than me . Like realy we have a baby not you and your mother . I think I'm typing to much and probably by now not making sense because I'm typing fast but please help
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female
reader, Judith254 +, writes (16 February 2013):
Judith254 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all for your answers , it reAly helped me a lot and I was thinking the same thing ,i just didn't know if it was just me if I was wrong or not .
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (15 February 2013):
 “I didn't get him anything because I knew he wasn't going to give me anything and wanted him to know how I feel”
This won’t work.. he has no clue how you feel about not getting anything… he doesn’t care so he won’t know how you feel or understand why it’s bothersome to you.
I told my husband I wanted a card. We had plans to go out. I got him a card. He saw it and didn’t open it… he didn’t get me a card. He opened his card after work… and today I told him I was sad I didn’t get a card but I was ok we didn’t go out because he’s not feeling good. I told him to get me a card. He didn’t. I’m sad. I told him today “I’m sad you didn’t get me a card”
Had I not gotten him a card, he wouldn’t have cared. So how was he to know how sad I would be without a card? You ask if this is love… umm yeah it’s love… at least for us.
The giving and getting of gifts is not an indication of love.
You need to do this honey:
Get a lawyer
Go to court and get court ordered child support…. He needs to be supporting his child.
Get court ordered visitation for when the baby is older… for now it must be supervised as he clearly does not know how to care for a child…
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2013): Actions don't lie. Time to haul him into court to make him pay child support and hit him in the wallet. He needs to man up and take care of his son.
Move on from this guy. He doesn't care about you.
Your son is your first priority.
Find someone that will treat you with respect. You deserve that.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2013): I think you have bigger issues than a Valentines day gift.
You need to open a case with your local child support office. You'll see how much he really cares. By law, his father has a duty to support him. Don't avoid/block your child's rights to be supported simply because you think you're in love. It's been three years, and he hasn't married you yet. If you already have a case then it's time they know where he works. The bright side is that you will meet a man that will do all these things. He will do them because he truly cares about how you feel.
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A
female
reader, Ladyy +, writes (15 February 2013):
First of all men are stupid around holidays most of the time, and in general if you don't VOICE what you need and what you expect to happen, or show some action they just don't get it! You need to voice everything you just said, you should have atleast a week before asked just playfully.. so what are you getting me for Valentines day. It wouldn't hurt! I feel as though you don't voice your feelings and opinions. Sit him down, and have a heart to heart. That you were very upset.. and honestly he should feel bad. I think leaving him right now would be a bit drastic because you have not TRIED it all and the fact that you have a child i do not advise being hasty & leaving him right away. Its not like he beats u or anything. So yeah speak to him woman! Don't be scared
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A
female
reader, ihavetoomanythoughts  +, writes (15 February 2013):
 Forgetting Valentine's day or just not giving a care for it? Understandable.
Forgetting anniversaries? Understandable. You don't usually put the effort into remembering when all your first dates happen because most of the time they lead to nothing.
Forgetting Christmas? I'd be a little worried here, but it is still just a commercial holiday.
Forgetting your birthday? Personally, I think that's horrible.
Anyway, he did acknowledge Valentine's day by texting you and he did come over to spend time with you (I assume...). But still, he sounds like a jerk. He should be paying to take care of his child. If not, you force him to. Tell him he has to and if he doesn't, get the law to make him. He sounds like he has mummy issues so his mum takes precedence over you. I wouldn't stand for it and you shouldn't either. Time to leave him.
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