A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I need advice..I have been with my boyfriend for about a year and a half now and about a month ago I found that he had emailed another girl sending her his phone number. I confronted him about it. After a long talk and a lot of tears, he says that is was pure stupidity and that nothing came of it. She never called him and he didn't pursue her after that email.He is my first love and I care for him deeply, but I still struggle with the trust issue we now have and I find myself getting really insecure. I know I didn't deserve this but I keep telling myself that ppl make mistakes and that if I love him (which i do) I need to give him a second chance.I guess what I'm asking is if I should give him this 2nd chance and if so, how?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2011): The question is, when he gave this girl his number he must have thought there was a chance of her getting back to him. If she had - where would that leave you? I would question whether you want to be with someone who sounds out another girl? Maybe give him another chance but be wary, next time quickly dump him. Otherwise it looks as if he's with you till someone else crosses his path.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (4 February 2011):
My problem with this whole situation, is that 'nothing came of it'. What does that mean? Does that mean that if she had contacted him, something would have come of it? If so, then that means the only reason he didn't cheat was because there was no contact, not because he chose not to cheat.
What he's saying, is the only reason he didn't cheat was because she didn't get back to him. If she had, he'd have cheated. That's bad news, because it means there is no real regret here on his behalf. He's not really sorry. He's just saying since there was no contact it's all okay.
I'm only really in favour of second chances when there are children, or where the relationship has become stale and needs a tune up. I'm not in favour of younger people giving second chances to people who have cheated/attempted to cheat for no reason, or have no regret.
People do make mistake - and they have to pay for them. As it is, your boyfriend hasn't paid for a thing. He's not even really sorry. Given the chance, he would have cheated. I'm just not sure you should be with this guy. He sounds like someone who takes little responsibility, and isn't really sorry for what he's done.
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