A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Dear cupid. I am 24 year old and am currently in a relationship with a woman. we have a pretty healthy sex life and love each other like crazy. i've never had sex with men in my whole life, and im certain that i won't feel for men. i knew i'm gay since i was 9 and have dated a bunch of guys, but i just couldn't fall for them.Here is the big problem. over the years, i've discovered that i might be interested in men - in a sexual way. i'm turned on by straight porn, almost never watched lesbian porn. when i fantasize, i think about men. so what's the deal with me? i have to surpress my urge when a man hit on me and invite me to bed, even though deep down i know i want it. i feel that i need to explore my sexuality, but my girlfriend whom i love wholeheartedly, will not allow. if i were to tell her this, chances are she will break up with me. Please.....advise me!
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female
reader, person12345  +, writes (4 February 2011):
 It doesn't matter if it's with a man, it's not like you get one of each gender! Cheating is cheating. A bit of natural curiosity is normal, but acting on it is cruel to your current partner. Justify it how you will, but you just want to cheat. If you are unhappy with your partner, end things and sleep with a man.
When I'm working with people who are questioning their sexuality, I always ask which gender they fantasize about. Porn choice seems not to impact it, but what fantasies you make up in your head are important. You should re-examine what you want in your partner, specifically which gender.
A
male
reader, Illithid +, writes (4 February 2011):
 Yeah, what they said. Cheating is cheating. Even if all you're trying to do is see if you like sex with men. What happens if you do like it, a lot? Will you keep sleeping with men and telling your girlfriend that it's ok because you're lesbian?
Commitment doesn't mean you aren't interested in anyone else. I means that even when you want to sleep with someone else, you don't do it. If you cannot commit to this girl and she's not interested in an open relationship, then you two may not be looking for the same thing out of life and may not be compatible.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2011): Cheating is cheating, and you should not betray your GF while you are in a relationship. That said, if you feel like you want to explore your sexuality, you will have to take a break from your relationship with her. She may not take you back later, but at least you were being honest with her and not doing things behind her back. If she truly understands you, she will accept this. She should understand you will have yearnings, and this will not bode well for a LTR if you dont go and do it. And if she REALLY loves you, she may take you back later if it turns out you are not straight.
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A
female
reader, Blonde68  +, writes (4 February 2011):
You are in a relationship with this woman, which is no different to being in any other loving relationship, so I totally understand your girlfriend not being happy with you wanted sex with someone else, even if it is of the opposite sex.
I feel if you have this burning desire to try it out with men, then the descent thing would be to end your relationship with your girlfriend. How would you feel if the tables were turned? I don't think any of us would really like it!
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