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My Bf is going on a trip, with his sister, and without me. Do I have a right to be upset?

Tagged as: Dating, Family, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (28 October 2015) 4 Answers - (Newest, 29 October 2015)
A female Canada age 36-40, anonymous writes:

my boyfriend and I have been together for 8 months now, and 5 months ago, him and I started planning a trip together. He would come down every weekend, we would look at various places to go, kept checking prices and overall, talked about it all the time.

Well in August, it was time to book it. We ended up getting into a fight over something unrelated and not booking, we didn't speak for 2 weeks.

Then we got back together and he told me he is going on the trip with his sister.

I already booked the week off of work and saved the money to go.

The trip is coming up in 2 days and I am sitting here so upset as he is going and I am not. Do I have the right to feel this hurt and angry?

View related questions: got back together, money

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A female reader, Walshyxo  United Kingdom +, writes (29 October 2015):

Walshyxo  agony auntWell, I certainly would be upset because as a girlfriend you should be part of the family, however he may just want to spend time with his sister so depends on the circumstances, if your too upset, book somewhere with a family member or your closest friends and go away during the same period and have a blast!!!

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (29 October 2015):

Honeypie agony auntWell, I'd call work and reschedule your time off.

And the money saved? Well I'd keep them in savings, it's always good to have some money put aside.

You can't really sit around and sulk because your BF decided to go with his sister over you. At the TIME of the booking you two weren't talking. I think it's kinda makes sense that he booked a vacation with her (over you - as you two WERE NOT talking). BUT after you two made up, he could have suggested that YOU buy your own ticket and all 3 of you enjoy a vacation together. I mean if he is SERIOUS about you. Or maybe he isn't really ready to go on vacation with you?

I'm sure there are PLENTY of things you can do while he vacations - even doing a trip of your own.

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A female reader, Ciar Canada + , writes (29 October 2015):

Ciar agony auntIf the trip was booked after you two had broken up then what exactly did he do wrong? It's not as if it was booked and he decided to cut you out at the last minute and take someone else instead.

If my boyfriend didn't speak to me for two weeks, I'd have considered it over, just as you did. These arrangements were made when you two were still apart and this is his sister, not some woman he picked up in a bar.

You can feel whatever you want to feel, but I don't see this as a catastrophe. As you said, you have all that money saved and some time off coming to you. You can either reschedule or do something different, or you can simply relax at home and take some day trips.

Stewing at home while he has fun seems pointless and, frankly, immature to me. And I believe duking it out with him over this will damage an already fragile reunion.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2015):

Yes, you have! That's incredible mean and so unconsiderate since you both have been planning for weeks! But I also find it incredible that you didnt speak for 2 weeks! Can you please tell us what was the fight about? I just hope for you that he isnt the kind of person who likes being right that he's willing to go without you on a trip you both have planned.

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