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My best friend has cut me out of his life and I am heartbroken! What do I do?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Friends, Three is a crowd, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 November 2010) 4 Answers - (Newest, 13 January 2011)
A female United Kingdom age 22-25, *aura Joanne writes:

Ok to cut a long story short, me and my friend have been very close for 3 years, there has been laughter/heartbreak/anger/passion everything, I fell for him and he didn't feel the same so he stopped talking to me because he didn't want to hurt me, by this time I had met someone else who I am with at the moment.. he got in touch with me again but I was already with this person. We tried to stay friends everything else but it didn't work so he hasn't spoken to me since September. I kept sending him emails telling him how much I missed him, how he was my best friend etc but I never got anything, he was very jealous of my new boyfriend and it really fucked things up. Earlier on this evening out the blue I got an email saying ' I'm going to block and delete you now, just stay the **** out my life' I am actually heartbroken, we had a friendship for 3 years, and I miss him so much. Is this out of anger or is he just jealous of my new relationship. I am so confused and upset, I have sent him an email saying what the hell are you talking about? I just don't know how or what I can do, someone help.

View related questions: best friend, heartbroken, jealous

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A female reader, Laura Joanne United Kingdom +, writes (13 January 2011):

Laura Joanne is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Laura Joanne agony auntWell since I last posted this, we still have not spoke. Me and my partner are very happy together and I am starting to feel better about the whole situation. Of course I have my bad days where I do really miss him, after speaking to someone everyday for three years, it's kind of hard when that just stops. I am doing better though and thankyou for those who gave me advice :)

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2010):

Ah sweety...that is sad. It sounds as if your timing was just off with each other. Your friend is hurting. If he is meant to be in your life, either as a friend or something more, you will find out soon enough. I don't know that I would try to call him. He sounds pretty angry. You're not going to accomplish anything with a phone call anyway. Leave him alone for now. Honor his wishes. 'Till then, live your life. Love the one you're with.

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A female reader, the_hidden_key Australia +, writes (1 December 2010):

To add on to the above, this reminds me of an old psychological theory which was originally used to describe childlike behaviours but also reflected well in an our adulthood too. The theory is that, and it's quite simple lol, that for example if you pick up a ball that a child isn't playing with, the child obviously does not want the ball but when you pick it up, the child reaches for it and cries until they have it.

Once with it though is no longer interested.

Perhaps that could also be a reason why he is acting out. He knows that yes he missed his chance where he may or may not have felt anything in return and now that you are in a relationship you are no longer availabe.

Regret.

He may ressent you for not being available, blaming you for his mistake. Often people do this to try and avoid their own feelings, by putting the responsibility onto another person they avoid it themselves, although it may not make sense lol.

But yes calling him, or actually better face to face, would be better to talk things out.

It would be such a shame to lose him over something like this.

I've lost friends this way so i know how you're feelings

HUGZ

I hope you can get in touch with him, and remember just be open and honest to him about how this makes you feel, you will be letting your guard down but if it is the truth then it is better than you getting angry and aggressive with him. I know you are hurt and angry and confused about this. But it will do no good yelling at him it will only make him act out too and recoil further

sorry i just had to add that in there

=D

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A male reader, Cerberus_Raphael United Kingdom +, writes (1 December 2010):

Cerberus_Raphael agony auntIt sounds as though he is jealous of your new boyfriend. He may not have felt anything for you when you confessed that you were falling for him but, I think he might actually feel something now and the fact that you have a boyfriend angers him because it feels as though he let something slip away from his grasp. I think he might want to block you and delete you because he wants to move on and therefore, have nothing to do with you out of fear of being hurt.

If you can, I think you should call him and talk to him about this.

I hope that helps.

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