A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Me and my ex-bf broke up about a month ago on a Friday. That following Monday I found out my bff likes my ex, and that day she told me to get over him and that she was going to ask him if he would ask her out. See, while me and him were dating, from what I saw and what I heard, he flirted with her. And he kept doin it after we broke up.I still like him, but I am slowly gettin over him. I see them flirt together and hug and I tell myself 'we're not datin anymore, it doesn't bother me'. But yet did I know, it DID hurt me. I just ignored the pain and went on, pretendin to be happy.Friday the 8th of this month, I saw them after school flirtin and all that stuff. I couldn't stop myself, but I sat on the ground and the tears almost came to my eyes. I didn't cry cause people would ask me why I was, so I held it in.Now, my ex bf will go strait up to my bff after school in front of me and hug her, and then walk off, when we usually walk together to where we stand and wait for his mom(we even did this after we broke up) and I go and cath up with himI don't know anymore, we're really good friends stil, and he still flirts with me here and there. Im so confused of what to do. My bff likes like 10 other guys and flirts with all of them, I don't want him to go out with her and get hurt, cause I'll be pissed. But, then a part of me wants him to get hurt, so he feels how I felt when he broke up with me. Please help me, I am SOO confused and hurt.Thank you.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2010): Your ex-bf and your bff sound a little rude and disrespectful to flirt right in front of you. You may want to consider talking to your bff and telling her that that even though you are broken up with your ex-bf, enough time has not passed yet, and you feel uncomfortable watching them flirt. If your bff igores your feelings, then I might consider finding a new bff. Unfortunately, people (including many adults) behave immaturely. What's important is that you behave maturely. There's nothing wrong with feeling uncomfortable and hurt with the situation, but you do need to let go of your feelings for the ex-bf before too much longer.
Just remember, you cannot control you bff or your ex-bf, but you can control your thoughts and your behaviors. It easy to allow other people to hurt us. But ultimately, those other people are going about merrily along the way, while we are crying and feeling in pain. It's okay to feel the pain during the moment, but don't keep carrying it. If someone else treats you wrongly, then that really is their problem, don't make it yours. Don't carry the weight of someone else's misdeeds. Let them carry the weight of their own misdeeds, as it is really between them and their conscience. It takes most of us a lifetime to learn that and some of us never learn it.
If you really learn and practice this you could be way ahead of the game:
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2010): Have u told your best friend that it upsets you when she flirts with your ex, if not, u should.
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