A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok I will just admit it....I found my sister's email acct password and I snooped. So looking through everything I find all these messsages from a man she met online...theres a ton of them, it starts out with them basically getting to know each other and just getting closer and closer, they've talked on the phone too so I don't have all the information. They have met in real life a few times and she's stated "your such a gentlemen" "great kisser" "soulmate" "I love you", as well as he has said some of the same things to her. He lives an hour away...The thing is this man is 51 years old and my sister is 19. She's a little soft but very pretty and nice girl...she's super shy. What scares me is their planning on being together next weekend and she's planning on giving him her virginity....saying " I'm nervous but I love you" and "my heart belongs to you and soon my body". I realize their in love but I think she's making a mistake and quite honestly kinda grossed out by the fact he's so much older. Should I tell her how I snooped and try to get her to not do this? Or should I tell my mom about this so she can talk to her etc..??? I don't want her to be mad at me, but I feel time is running out to stop this!
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male
reader, Kofcalifornia +, writes (2 January 2022):
They are both consenting adults. They are not doing this to impress you or win your approval. Love is blind. You are being shallow and need to worry about your own love life instead of snooping around others. What do you think your mom is gonna do?? It's none of your damn business. Don't be a tattle tale. You are as inexperienced as your sister is. Let her learn from her own experience. And quit snooping for truths you cannot handle.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (23 April 2012):
 There really is not a lot you can do....
sadly if it does not work out (and i doubt it will)
your sister will have a live and learn experience. she may regret it years down the road but there is NOTHING you can do now... she's an adult technically....
you could go to her and tell her you love her and respect her but that you are concerned... clearly something bothered you enough to make you snoop in the first place.
As the older partner in an age gap relationship I can't even begin to see what they have in common or what he could possible be thinking... I feel weird with a 13 year gap....
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (22 April 2012):
 I would find some of the "horror stories" of girls meeting guys on the net for sex.
The thing is she is 19. So she is "technically" old enough to make her own choices. Maybe she thinks an older guy will be a better choice then a fumble inexperienced teenager.
And yes, I would talk to her about this. I'm not so worried about the age difference, but I do find that it's just NOT safe to do this. She doesn't REALLY know the guy. Does she have his name/address/phone number? If so I would run a background check on him, It would be worth the $6.99
Facts are she is inexperienced. And she is putting herself in immense danger. He could be a legit old dude looking for a hot young girl, but he could be many other scary things as well.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2012): Ok seriously people we really need to get over this whole age difference thing. We've come to a point in time where we can accept interracial relationships, gay/lesbian, etc. Yet somehow an inter-generational relationship is looked down as being so horrible...Notice the words these people have made...creep, sex offender, rapist, sad pervert. It also goes both ways with an older woman dating a younger man...she's a freak, cradle robber etc...Then the younger partner is looked on as some insecure mental patient.Bottom line they are both of legal age, let it be and let it go...
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A
female
reader, jr23 +, writes (22 April 2012):
 Yes, you should talk to her, and/or have your parents talk to her. It does seem like this man just wants sex. And if he gets it he will disappear from her life, and she will be left heartbroken. After all, how could they really have anything in common? They grew up in 2 different time periods, it isn't likely that someone of 51 would feel an actual connection to someone of 19. Although, I don't agree with the posters who said he must be a creep or a sex offender. This is not necessarily the case. It could just be that he's feeling old, and talking to younger women makes him temporarily feel young again. In that case, it's just an ego boost for him. I'm not saying it's right, because it's never right to play with someone's heart for your own personal gain. If he's feeling insecure, he needs to find a new way to deal with it.
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A
female
reader, PerhapsNot +, writes (22 April 2012):
 You need to tell your mother. Hopefully she can put an end to it. A 51 year old man that goes after 19 year old is a sad pervert and possibly a rapist or creep. Once your mother speaks to her, it would be a good idea for you to talk to her as well. It will be better for her to know that two women with different ages agree on this topic.
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