A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I met someone online 1.5 months ago. I blew him off for a week after our first conversation and apologized. I let him know I was talking to other people but nothing serious so I wanted to get to know him better. We met 3 weeks ago.He has a foot fetish (which scared me at first), says that he likes constant reassurance and is a dominant personality (which I don't mind). He wanted me to be exclusive with him and I finally told him that I would do that but only if I have his word that he is serious about me and not playing games and that he reciprocate. He mentioned that women tend to fall all over him and that he ends up having to block their numbers. We both hid our online profiles at the same time to focus on each other but he never believed that I stopped talking to people on more than a friend level. He left me a voicemail once saying that I wont stop until I lose it all and to not ask what that means because I already know. He says that he is the kind of man that will make me think???We met, hit it off, kissed and had a great time. We had plans to meet last Saturday and I stayed up making him choco covered pretzels and strawberries as a suprise. He lives 2 hours away, I told him that wasn't excited about driving so far to see him. I have a temporary roommate, so it wouldn't be convenient for him to come to me. He is more of a homebody and thinks that I want him to entertain me. I also let him know that I was thinking of moving to NC and fed up with my job.We were supposed to meet last Saturday. We talk that previous Sunday and he told me how much he enjoyed our conversations and time spent together and I replied similarly. I called him on Monday to see if he'd be interested in meeting half way. I didn't hear back from him until 12 am on Tuesday night/ Wednesday morning when he left me a message mocking me asking if I wanted to meet him half way?!! We talked on Thursday night he said he felt uneasy about planning our date and that he'd call on Friday to confirm what we'd do. During our conversation, he asked when I have my period (so he could track it and understand if I was acting moody). He wants me to open up.He never called on Friday and I left him a message asking if he was still interested and to let me know if not, but he had been showing all the signs of being interest but was a lil distant last week.I hear back Saturday morning when he said we should just be friends, that I need someone more active, closer (distance) and that he's thinking of moving to NC and its not fair to put me thru that. I cryied because it caught me so off guard that he was dumping me and told him that I want to continue the relationship. He said he'd think about it and call in a few hours. He never called back so I called him 5 hours later... He blocked my # from calling his phone and his page was back online???? (WTF happened). I called him on Sunday (from a blocked #), he was really cold saying he had to go and what do I want. I told him that we didn't have any major issues causing him to back away like this and to give me another chance to show him the real me, no games, no other men, etc. He agreed and said he had somewhere to be so he'd call back later. Before he hung up, he said he felt like I was playing 2 many games, not exclusive with him and that he had some things going on personally BUT that he was willing to give us another try, he wanted to see me this coming weekend, would pay for my gas to drive to him, that he would look into getting a webcam so we can chat and see each other, and that he would call later to discuss it more. I haven't heard from him since. I called him on Tuesday (my # is still blocked) and I sent him flowers (cost 50 bucks) on Tuesday. He got the flowers but still hasn't called to even acknowledge them or to talk like he said he would. What's up with this guy? Head games? Not interested? Why would he say that he'd give it another go and elaborate so much just to blow me off again? He showed no signs of being uninterested until I left the message asking if he was still into me. Will he call? Completely not interested or does he just enjoy seeing me squirm and will call when i finally back off? Please help! I can't take this anymore. It's too stressful. I will let it go, but I hate unanswered questions.
View related questions:
flowers, hasn't called, period, roommate Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Beingblack  +, writes (4 February 2010):
 I am not a fan of people meeting online at all. I have never done it, and will never do it, because a couple of my circle of friends have become 'serial' daters. I cannot agree with what they do, but they tend to come up with amazing tales that either make me cry with laughter, or cringe in shame.
Men like my friends are online liars. They put up pictures, write descriptions, and, in my opinion, reel in mainly vulnerbale women. So I would openly warn most women that many men who look for online dates are completely false.
This man is one of the worst. You are far better off without him.
I would ask that if you are seeking a relationship, look much closer to home.
You are your own woman, you are unique. However you look, however you feel about yourself, whatever is going on in your mind is displayed plainly by your body language and eyes. Can I ask you to smile more, and soften your eyes? And as you go about your daily business, act like you don't have a care in the world. A lot of men find happiness and confidence a huge turn on. You will have men following you around, and taking second glances. Hopefully you wont have to go online and risk meeting men like my errant buddies.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2010): Do you want to be chained to a sink for the rest of your life? Locked in a closet, coverd in your own filth? This man is a controling, abusive psychopath. consider yourself luck to be done with him.
Something tells me that if you stop calling, he will start calling you. After all, you've put up with plenty of manipulative nonsense from him before and come back begging for more! He won't want to lose such a masochist.
...............................
A
female
reader, red_headed_babe +, writes (4 February 2010):
 Oh, sweetie, that is seriously screwed up. Personally, I wouldn't put up with that bull for ANYBODY, much less, a man that doesn't take me seriously. Let him go. He obviously doesn't trust you, and to be perfectly frank, he seems like he may be a little mentally unstable. He obviously is a little sadistic, and, unless you're into that kind of thing, that's not the best way to go with a relationship. You're playing into his trap if you send him flowers, call repeatedly, etc. This is what he WANTS you to do. He wants to feel in control and to have a woman groveling at his feet. He probably has very deep-seated issues with women. This is NOT Prince Charming. He just wants a doll to play with. Don't let him. You're a woman, not a toy. Show him that. Don't call, don't send him anything, cut off all contact. Show him that you're not his plaything. Hope this help, and good luck. :]
...............................
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (4 February 2010):
 When chatting to potential dates online, no one has the right to tell the other to be exclusive. A guy who boasts himself about other women falling for him is tacky. He has no manner, no etiquette whatsoever. He likes the idea of the dating but has no heck of an idea what he's doing. I bet he's a loner, a weirdo and cannot handle anything real. His mysterious behavior is making you chase him. It's all an illusion, woman.
...............................
|
