A
female
age
41-50,
*ixxxy
writes:I have just said good bye to a pretty rough patch in life and a controlling husband and therefore have practically no social life.I want to begin having a social life - i have two kids AND a full time job so i'll have to make the effort and it wont come naturally as people over the last few years have learnt to move on without me.Now I dont get any invites from anyone anymore - how do i make a start? I love exercising and go to the grym, i go to the office and i sit at home...no where else.I want to find people who have common interests, friends, any will be fine:)
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female
reader, Sweet-thing +, writes (22 May 2012):
 You could start to make contact with some of your former friends and update them to your situation. If they began to avoid you because of the way your husband controlled your every move they will probably welcome you back into their lives in a less restricted manner. Be open to making new friends too. And to do that just start taking in the things you enjoy; the things you've been missing out on. Go to museums. Art shows. Take up singing lessons, or learn how to play a musical instrument. Invite other women to lunch or out for a drink after work and get to know them. When you pursue your interests you will meet other people doing the same thing then you'll have something in common. Just go slow and take time to enjoy your freedom. Don't try to fill up every moment with something or someone. Sometimes it's healthy to be alone and putter around your kitchen cooking new recipes, or watching a good movie, or reading a book. You may find other hobbies you have forgotten about like drawing, or painting or beading. Continue to work out so your energy level is good, and you stay positive. Pursue a spiritual relationship to help you connect to things bigger than yourself. Organize your little pad, spend time decorating it so it reflects your personality without someone dictating to you, and doing all the thinking for you. Soon enough you'll probably meet another man so enjoy this phase for yourself. There is much to learn about life from observation and pursuing what you want to do.
A
female
reader, Vixxxy +, writes (21 May 2012):
Vixxxy is verified as being by the original poster of the questionUnfortunately we Stil live together due to logistical challenges. I have told him to move out and he's looking for a job in another city but until then we live together amicably but I want to start moving out to make it clear that I am beginning to move on.
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A
female
reader, oldbag +, writes (21 May 2012):
 Hi
why not invite peple round to yours, those youve lost touch with, tell em your having a divorce dinner. Suggest things at work,social meets, and check your local paper for whats on that appeals
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A
female
reader, Vixxxy +, writes (21 May 2012):
Vixxxy is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks, i love the idea of contacting some of my older friends - i do miss them a lot and will be very good to reconnect! though 12 years is a long time but i'll try my best!
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A
female
reader, Vixxxy +, writes (21 May 2012):
Vixxxy is verified as being by the original poster of the questionNo i havent heard of it before but just saw the site - thanks for the suggestion!
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (21 May 2012):
https://www.hensdancing.com/
Have you heard of this?
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A
female
reader, Eyespy17  +, writes (21 May 2012):
My friend just told me about this site called "meet up". It has different groups in all different areas and they meet up for different things - you can find everything from wine tasting to crocheting groups.
Also - maybe its not to late to make amends with your former friends? Maybe write a heartfelt letter - explaining you were at a low and thats why you left their lives. Apologize. And see. You never know.
Good luck.
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