A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Our relationship became a LDR since 4 months... Growing apart from my bf of 2 years: we are at a point where we barely talk now and my feelings for him are not the same anymore. In the beginning I was writing to him every day and we would skype at least once a week. According to him, this was too much and thinks it's enough to talk once every 2 weeks and send one liners every few days. It really frustrated me, so l learnt to just not count on him anymore and live life on my own: keeping myself busy in this new country. When I was feeling so homesick, i didn't feel he was supportive as he didn't even want to try to confort me on Skype when I really needed him to. It broke my heart. So from there I kind of learnt of how it is to live on my own again. I have also realized that a few things other things are not compatible in our relationship. I want to break up but I don't know how to do it... I'm not coming home before a few months and some things important to me are at his place. I don't feel it is appropriate to break up online when our relationship was supposed to be committed but I don't feel like I can pretend anymore (i'm overseas and coming back home just to break up is not an option)... Is there any etiquette on how to break up while LDR, limiting heart break for the person that gets dumped? Do you guys have any experience on having had to deal with break ups on LDRs? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (28 December 2012):
 It's not nice to break up online when you are in the same place, but since you are overseas it would be really overdoing with manners if you bought a round trip flight ticket just to go break up with him and come back !
Break up now the most civilly and less conflictually as possible ( after all, you have perfectly reasonable motives to not want to continue, and I think he'll realize it ) then you can go, or better send somebody, to collect your stuff when you go home in a few months.
A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim +, writes (28 December 2012):
 Have you got family or friends who could collect your stuff from his place? Somebody he likes or respects and who likes or respects him in return.
I agree, returning home just to break up seems excessive, and in light of the fact your communication has got to a point where neither of you are contacting the other on a regular basis, I think a breakup by email would be acceptable.
Just keep it short, non accusatory, remove all the emotions, and let him know so and so has agreed to collect your stuff (list it for him) and will be calling him to find out when is a good time.
good luck
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2012): Well I can understand your situation completely. First I can start by saying if you honestly love him then you can simply take a short time from each other, come together again and decide what you both would like to do. If you are set on breaking up with him I would say to do it in person be kind and gentle never harsh if there is anyway you can communicate the problem in your relationship do so! It is much better to fix what is broken than to throw it away. Trust in God for all the answers to your problems.
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