A
female
age
30-35,
ayme
writes:Hi guys and girls, i've decided to write a bit on how to keep a long-distant relationship going or at least how me and my partner have succeeded so far :). There are a lot of us that go off to university whilst in a relationship, maybe just started a new one or you've been together for a while. I am one of those people...i have moved a fair distance from home to study my degree and try to find some independence....i however didn't think that 4 months before i left home that i would find someone who i have now been with for nearly 9 months and love very much. Ours is the relationship that came out of no where i never try to pull guys on a night out, i go for a dance and a laugh...however i met my partner while i might add looking dreadful on the dance-floor, i already knew of him and gravitated towards him throughout the night....we ended up going on a date and then spending more and more time together after him doing the typical 'yea i probably won't get in touch for a few days' line....yea facebook ladies, i said hi it went from there...anyways we started going out made it all exclusive...and didn't really think about the fact i would be moving away in September. We were having fun, getting to know each other, falling for each other; which we didn't realize or at least wouldn't tell each other (in fear they would run!!or was too soon, 4 months at this point) until i'd left and it got more important to tell each other how we felt. It was going well i was able to go home for 2 weeks before my course started...then i wasn't able to go home again for another 2 months a 2 weeks...you can't believe how hard it was not seeing him (if you're in my position you will know), he's my best friend and my partner; the guy who can always make me laugh...and the only one who'd been there for me for the past 4 months...anyways there was a sticky patch where we nearly split...the usual was he holding me back? age gap?..and obviously i thought well am i holding you back too? maybe being selfish wanting to be with him when he could be getting on with his life...luckily we pushed through our problems by chatting on MSN and Facebook...and getting a bit raunchy...i'm not confident in anyway but he makes me feel soo good about myself so to keep the excitement going we started sending pics..getting more explicit as the months have gone on and on my part knowing i can trust him completely...video chat is also a great way, being able to see each other amongst other things..whatever keeps the passion going do it!!! trust each other and push your limits it will make this long-distance thing sooo much easier..the anticipation of seeing each other will be higher, communication too as you have to get things across in a different way, sometimes it's easier not being face to face if it's embarrasing or serious and your unsure of how they'll react?...let them know how much you miss them but want them to still have fun with there mates/ hobbies...bit of healthy jealousy is good..but don't try and change your man..not for anything!!...Once i went home for xmas we were closer, got to spend a lot of time together going out with friends..to the cinema's as this is a tradition of ours..i got to spend xmas with his family and his adorable 3 yr old son :)...now i'm back at uni and have been since january...keeping myself busy with projects. I worried before xmas that he'd gotten bored of the video and pics but i've realize he has his own way of coping with the distance...he has way more hobbies than me and i am a fairly boring student :)...more reading books than drinking..though i do love to party as we all do. But were on track and SOOOO happy..he's coming down to see me for a week, just me and him..no housemates!! wooo and no parents in the way....i get him all to myself!! And stressing over valentine's day is horrible!! i've never had one (sad i know) so im am not prepared :)...any advice would be appreciated!...i never expected him to come along when he did..i left home because i felt soo alone, i'd grow apart from my friends. Then i meet him and we just clicked..and thank god!!! i don't know what i would do without him..nearly 9 months...that may not be much to some but considering my last relationship was 11 months..well im kinda hoping this one lasts well forever!! :D...The tip is to trust, be open to new ideas, don't cheat...if your bored of your partner or find you don't feel the same anymore then end it in the nicest way possible; there's nothing worse in my mind then a cheat or a liar, there's just no need for the crap to be honest. Also be blunt if you want something let them know otherwise you don't know if their up for it? do you?! In my mind long-distance can work and work well..you just have to put the time and effort in...find new hobbies like me to make the time go faster...i highly recommend Pole-Dancing...don't judge...it's actually a great laugh, brilliant exercise, as well as unique....and your partner will definitely enjoy seeing you progress :D I hope this helps some couples out there....if you love someone enough then it can work!!! So enjoy..give your man/woman a big kiss for me and keep at it :D xx
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best friend, facebook, jealous, liar, msn, university Reply to this Article
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male
reader, scofy  +, writes (24 February 2012):
 fidelity and trust play a vital role in long distance relationship. myself could attest to this, unfortunately my ex-gf for 4 yrs messed it up when she dated one when im away.
A
male
reader, Mark_25_ +, writes (16 February 2012):
 Hey!I really enjoyed reading your article, I too am in a long distance relationship, although compared to the time apart you have to go through I feel less qualified to say I am!In contrast, mine has always been long distance - we met online through youtube and both play / write music. After about 6 months of chatting, in which we discovered we had a lot in common, and that we live about an hour apart, we decided to meet with the aim of making music. We clicked instantly, both of us are quite shy people, but we felt comfortable with each other straight away, and after a couple of months of seeing each other every couple of weeks we made it official despite being pretty much a couple already. We did see each other once every 2 weeks for a while but soon had to move it on to once a week. due to me working and her being in 6th form we can only see each other on weekends.We too have done chatting on msn, webcam stuff, pictures etc etc and you're completely right when you say it keeps everything fresh. We talk every evening for a couple of hours on the phone, text, do everything to keep in contact as much as we can. Currently we're in the longest time apart since we first met - she's away skiing with her family and there isn't any internet, the only point of contact is texting and we're having to limit that so we don't run up huge bills! Needless to say, we're missing each other desperately at the moment.One thing you didn't touch on which I certainly find, is when you are restricted with how often you can see your partner, is that it builds an incredible appreciation for the time that you do get together. You said that you were closer when you went home for xmas, likewise, I find every time I see her we get closer. As well as that, when you're apart for so long, it builds very good communication skills.Me and my girlfriend are completely in love, totally trusting (we, like you, don't tolerate the whole cheating thing), and I can honestly say we haven't once had a falling out or argument. I've never really believed in soul mates, but meeting her has really changed that, she is my soul mate, my best friend, and girlfriend.And lastly, I read recently in a paper that long distance relationships are far more likely to end in a successful marriage compared to an average relationship, which I completely buy in to. When you don't see each other, it makes you appreciate the time you do have so much, you never get embroiled in silly day to day things that build up and wear couples down, it never gets boring.Thanks for posting this article! It's definitely helped given that my gf is away for a while! :)
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