A
male
age
41-50,
*eanJohn
writes:My Wife and I have been happily married for past 12 years. I'm 35 and she's 33. We have 2 kids. Healthy Sexual appetite.A year back, at the local library she accidentally picked up a movie about swingers and was excited by the idea but too jealous/possessive to think about me with another woman. Then she came across my porno stash and saw a MFM Double penetration video. Again excited by the concept and thrill, she suggested that she wanted to try it. She coyly asked me if I was jealous about it and my reaction was not jealous about anything. But I explained to her the responsibilities and emotional turmoil that came along with the territory including risk of jealousy/distrust fueled divorce. I was OK with it if it was a one time experience but what if she had a mind bustin' experience and wanted to repeat it as most people would want to? BTW she is an extremist by nature.We live in an very conservative community/area. My worry is that if we venture too far, and if the whole affair was out in the open (which it will one day), she'd be labeled a slut and me a wimp. Also I don't like the double standard she has in mind wherein she's free to try and do but I'm her 'slave'.My worries are not sexual but social. IS she going thru a mid-life crisis? Is she turning into a MILF?I'm confused.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2007): Is your wife willing to try double penetration with you and a dildo? This might satisfy her wild side. It's difficult to tell if she's turned on by the idea of a threesome with you and another man, or if she's turned on by the physical sensation of being double-penetrated. You might try suggesting doing a DP with you and a dildo the next time you have sex. That way, you wouldn't have the emotional/jealous issue to deal with it. Like I said, she just may be more interested in the physical sensation of being DP'd.
A
male
reader, SeanJohn +, writes (8 November 2007):
SeanJohn is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks everyone for the excellent advice.
I spent a lot of time researching the subject on the net and thinking about it. I reached the conclusion that the complications/problems with a MFM threesome is not sexual but emotional/jealousy. I've told my wife that I'm against the idea for the same reason and because I didn't think we could manage the emotional turmoil it would bring.
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A
male
reader, SeanJohn +, writes (8 November 2007):
SeanJohn is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI spent a lot of time researching the subject on the net and thinking about it. I reached the conclusion that the complications/problems with a MFM threesome is not sexual but emotional/jealousy. I've told my wife that I'm against the idea for the same reason and because I didn't think we could manage the emotional turmoil it would bring.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2007): And I do not agree... You can do it in other city or else where... Its nothing strange ! Just people are used in a set of rules when it comes to sex,rules are for traffic, for other things when intimacy is n\concerned i do not think should be applyed.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2007): I like MFM and Swing too... There is nothing wrong with it, its more enjoyable would say:) And as far is discreet i dont think u ll have any social harm... Enjoy!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2007): The fact that you are asking this questions point to the fact that you have doubts. I have always believed that if in doubt do nothing. I dont think this video awakened anything, it was there to start with and she has plucked up the courage to ask. These fantasis should be kept as fantasy.
take care
xx
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2007): I agree with the previous response as a whole.
One more thing -- About the MFM versus MFF issue, I think it's maybe a valid idea to start with her desires for a MFM situation. (You don't REALLY think that picking up that swinger-video was a 100% accidental thing on her part, do you?) But if you feel like you're owed a MFF situation eventually, then you should talk about that ahead of time. If this is the case then you guys should start the swinging with the agreement that any MFM games have to be reciprocated to some extent with some MFF games eventually too.
The MFM stuff doesn't have to be equal-time with MFF stuff right away. (And of course it doesn't have to be MFF ever, if that's what YOU decide that you really prefer it as well. But that's rarely what happens.)
Fair's fair IMO.
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A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (1 November 2007):
 Hi,
simple answer really. Don't do it. The fact that you have so many concerns is a massive warning sign that it would turn out badly.
Unless you find it the most exciting thing sexually and would boost your sexual relationship its best to leave it in the realms of fantasy.
An idea though, if you travel outside your "conservative" area, try going to a swingers club, you can just go as voyeurs stand there and watch others if you like it good if not you can just leave - easy. If you feel comfortable with it, then maybe you can take it further, and in any event it would be a good compromise with your wife. Moreover, there will be no worry about people finding out as everyone there is doing the same thing.
good luck.
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