A
male
age
18-21,
anonymous
writes:ok, i have a very big problem, im not going to lie, im a overweight, but my girl friend did not really care, she liked me for who i am(yay!!)we were going out for 6 weeks and we hadn't had sex yet because i have a 4.5 in penis, i would pleasure her by going down, stroking her hair, playing with her boobs, im 19 so believe me, im happy i found someone right nowbut then for our 7 week anniversary, on that friday, we decided we would finally have sex, she wasn't a virgin, but i am, shes had sex 4 times before, i did not really care, anyway...so i forplay a little bit, ya know... blah blah blah... and im already hard, so when she goes to take off my pants to give me head(heh), she saw it was only 4.5 and she laughed, i could not believe it, she actually said to me, "no wonder we waited so long, your not even big enough to have sex", and i said how we both said we loved eachother, but she just laughed and told me, i do, but thers no way i can live with that size, and she leftnow i have no confidence, and i cant even get it up, its been 2 months, my 2 questions are how can someone be this cruel? and what the hell is going on, why cant i get it up???? plz for the love of god, help me, i dont want to be a virgin for ever
View related questions:
anniversary, boobs, confidence, my penis, overweight, penis size Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2008): 50% of guys will have penises that are average or smaller. So you're in the same boat as half the guys you see walking around.
It was horrible and stupid of that girl to say such a thing to you. Probably the best thing for your confidence is to date either virgins, or very experienced women (who will know that truly it's not size that matters.) Actually large guys are much less pleasant for sex, because many positions hurt.
Good luck and feel better about yourself!
A
female
reader, Fade878  +, writes (11 July 2008):
 I'd have to say it's an age thing, and she was ignorant as all heck.
I have had varying sizes and for me, average size is fabu!
Most women lack confidence and self awareness of how to be pleased. Alot of it is psychological. If a woman says it's size, she doesn't know anything about sex, love, intamacy.
Men's arousal starts from the groing and out...or energy. Women's starts from the head...down. That is why women "need" foreplay. We need more time to get aroused.
Sensitive women, spiritually, sexually, do not need large penises. They need love, respect, nuture.
To let your first time, overwhelm you, let's that ignorant, clueless young women "win".
I personally prefer the smaller sizes as they are better able to stroke the gspot.
I recommend reading some books on the female orgasm and positions that stimulate the gspot.
That it was your first time, with someone so careless (sorry about that Dude), let it hurt and then let it go.
There is a someone for everyone.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2008): There are some girls who care about size and get more pleasure from bigger dicks unfortunately. It's heartbreaking for the small guy to know it, but I would be bullshiting you if I said there weren't any girls like this out there.
But those girls are at least tied (if not outnumbered) by the girls that don't care about dick size very much or don't care at all.
Read about the biology of the vagina & other things down there. It's really not as simple as you might think it is, and stimulating the right things isn't as simple as having more surface area on your penis to get her with. It's not just like you're stimulating her more the harder & more powerfully you "slam" her vagina with it. What helps most women have orgasms is nothing like that jackhammering sort of intercourse they always do in pornos.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 July 2008): That is straight up pathetic. Your girlfriend isen't much of one if she walked out on you because of having a un-usual penis. This might sound really wierd, but im only 13 saying this. But no girlfriend has the right to do that. NO sexual or normal relationship matters on penis length or looks.
You don't need to worry, going out for 6weeks. I admit, you sorta need to give it time. But she's not somebody that loved you. Find somebody that you cant trust & know you can tell anything to.
This is just proving that you need to give it time.. READ below.
Yes, im only 13. But me & my girlfriend in real life have been dating 9 months. Thats quite along time for a 13yo right? Okay well.. farthest i've done with her is kissing. I've attempted to go farther, but she refused. But i've let her do stuff to me. I was quite confused when she wouldn't let me reach in. But see, Male hormones tend to be more tempting to do stuff, which I might of temped her the wrong way. Which is quite possible of what you did to. But Male hormones can make the Male's more temped & my understanding's is that Male's will get "turned on" more easyer & faster. When Female's are turned on, usually they feel a tingle in the vaginal & rectnum area. (Sorry for my spelling)You have to accept that people might be differnt. Like you, now see.. 6weeks is not a lot. BUT, find somebody who respects you & you can tell everything. & by the way, if im not mistaken your penis will grow still. I've heard that your penis stop's growing at 25-30. But I doubt that. Just stay in there, it is quite possible it will grow. But penis dosen't matter in a real relationship.
Take it slower. & get back out there. =) Make sure the person you love. Loves you for who you are, not your length.
...............................
A
male
reader, sissybabysusie  +, writes (9 July 2008):
 I have lived with a penis that is only 3 inches erect and believe I know anxious it can be when you start a new relationship.A loving partner will love you for who you are and not your penis size.why not thrill her in other ways like extra forplay,touching kissing and using your tongue.Most women achieve orgasm through stimulation of the clitoris rather than penetration.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2008): this girl is going to hell in a mason jar. mean girls in this regard chalk up a slew of bad karma; they eventually have to deal with it..
the cruelty of teenage girls never ceases to amaze me...
chalk it up to immaturity, and move on. easier said than done, i know. but every man who interacts with the opposite sex in high school , with a few exceptions, has some humiliating experience that haunts them for life...
...............................
A
male
reader, guillaume + ♥, writes (15 April 2008):
Hi,
Yes, I am with all the other posters....that girl was a disgrace...in the future, life may just have a habit of getting her back in some other way!! You may not know about it, but it will happen!
Stop worrying about future erections....you are upset and this psychology has temporarily lost your erection. Try some masturbation for a while and just have "fun." Remember that if this girl is horrible to you, then she is horrible to others. Try not to rush to lose your virginity! Let the right lady that you trust enjoy taking it! best wishes, G.
...............................
A
female
reader, Isabella1974  + ♥, writes (15 April 2008):
 I am really sorry to hear that darling, what a very nasty girl she is. Dont listen to anything your ex has to say. You will meet a girl one day who will appreciate you for who you are, anyhow size is not everything, just because someones penis is very big does not necessarily mean they are good lovers. You will have no trouble pleasing any girl, just make sure she is someone you trust and is more open minded that you ex sweetheart.
God bless you and keep the chin up. Heres a "hug". xx
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2008): Honey that's just awful to hear. She shouldn't have been that cruel to you at all, that's just plain mean of her. As much as revenge doesn't solve anything, you should have called her flat chested. I'm sorry, but that would have satisfied me quite a lot if I were in your place! Now. Back to the advice. You're probably having trouble getting an erection because your confidence has been destroyed so much. You've got to forget about this nasty and heartless comment. Personally, I don't care about penis size and I know about a million other women that don't. You just managed to pick a girl that did. But she's clearly not even mature enough to be having sex yet, if she believes it's not good enough for sex. Let me tell you this, IT IS! So forget what she said - you've got the power in you to please a woman, you've just gotta let it out honey!
...............................
A
male
reader, 09876  +, writes (15 April 2008):
 Dude, some people are just scum of the earth, and someone who would abuse someone's trust/feelings/etc like that isn't worth the dirt under your feet. I may sound hash but its true mate. This girl obviously has no idea about life, love and how the world goes round, and it will catch up with her one day and it wont be pleasant for her.
Don't worry for a second about the physical features, because to a decent girl, they don't matter. Take me for example, I'm 20 and got my face torn to pieces by shrapnel on overseas deployment with the Army 6 months ago. I'm scared big time and It's not real pretty, but 2 months ago, a beautiful 23 year old fell in love with me.
You can and will do better brother, just keep your head up. Annalisa put it nicely in her last few lines
be cool
...............................
A
female
reader, Annalisa +, writes (15 April 2008):
 Sorry you had to experience such cruelty, what a stupid woman you've picked for your first partner, though!
It's no wander you feel so hurt and insecure, after such appalling behaviour on her part!
Listen, you are a little smaller than average, but only by an inch. You are not too small for sex, it just depends on how adventurous you and your future girlfriend are willing to be when it comes to positions. I suggest a good read of the Kama Sutra, it explains about size and positions!
That silly girl of your ex just needed to get on top of you and she would have been fine...
If you try to lose some weight, it will help you be more agile in bed and possible add a little length to your penis.
Until then, when you get to know a potential partner, it might help to talk about your insecurities a little and see if you get a little encouragement. If the girl prooves to be insensitive and shallow, just drop her before you get too involved emotionally!
Frankly, a shallow partner is better lost than found.
What your ex made you feel bad about and responsible for was actually her own short comings. Someone who cares for you wants to make love to you, therefore will make the most of what's there. Your ex must have been the kind of girl who normally just lays back waiting for the man to take charge, therefore didn't know what to do and got worried she wouldn't enjoy herself.
Trust me, I've dated guys with 'members' smaller than yours by half and had little trouble!
So be strong and proud of what you've got!
God bless you and good luck!
...............................
|
