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I've had sex - if I tell the doctor I haven't, will it make a difference?

Tagged as: Health, Pregnancy, Virginity<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (4 February 2010) 4 Answers - (Newest, 5 February 2010)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

My mums putting me on the pill soon seen as I'm neary 16 and I've been with my boyfriend 2years. The thing is, we've already had sex a few times. So if the doctor asked me if I was already "sexually active" and I lied and said no because my mum was in the room, would it make a difference?

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A female reader, celtic_tiger United Kingdom +, writes (5 February 2010):

celtic_tiger agony auntYes it will make a difference if you tell the Doctor you are not sexually active.

The reason they ask these questions is for your own health.

Once you start having sex, you will need to think about having regular check ups etc (things like smear tests and the like for cervical cancer) as well as the possibility of maybe having contracted a STI, or and STD without knowing it. Also, by having sex at a young age, you are more at risk of developing the HPV virus, which can lead to cervical cancer.

When a Doctor prescribes the pill or any other form of hormonal contraceptive, they are essentially giving you a strong form of medicine. If you lied, and that medicine reacted with your body in a bad way, because of it, they would get the blame for it, and it could leave you in trouble, pain or worse. It is always best to be honest with a Doctor - they want to give you the best treatment, and if you dont tell them all the facts it could be very dangerous.

The contraceptive pill is not a sweetie, or a paracetamol. These things are powerful drugs, which can really upset and alter your system, and take a good 3-4 months for your body to fully adapt and get used to them. Often they have bad side effects, weight gain, spots, mood swings (I personally have experience with one pill that turned me into a complete raving lunatic, thankfully its sorted now!), cramping, and you have to try many different brands before you find the one that suits YOU. Every woman is different, and everyone will react differently to each of the different pills. What one woman thinks is fantastic, another will be in tears over. The hormones involved basically "stop" your body from ovulating each month, and if you choose to have a pill where you get a monthly "bleed" (there are some where you never have to bleed) this is only a withdrawal from the hormones. It is not a proper period as you know it now.

If you have already had sex, then there are also other forms of contraception available to you as well. For example, the coil will only be prescribed to women who are sexually active, as it involves an invasive procedure to insert it into the body.

They may also want to do an internal examination to check that everything is ok with you, and that you have not developed any abnormal signs - this is something that can happen when a girl becomes sexual.

If you do not want your mum in with you, then you need to talk to her about it. If you are old enough to be having sex, then you are old enough and MATURE enough to discuss this with your Mother. If you cannot, then you shouldn't be having sex.

Sex is not a game, there are many serious consequences, not least, pregnancy, and disease. If you cannot be mature about all this, then you should reconsider your actions.

Never lie to the Doctor - it is your health that will suffer.

Good luck!

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A male reader, Fatherly Advice United States + , writes (4 February 2010):

Fatherly Advice agony auntNot to disagree with anything the women have already posted, but I have kind of a different take on this. I know that 16 in the UK is older than 16 in the US, at least legally, but I'm thinking if your mom took you into the doctors for that, then she has a pretty good idea what is going on. She knows you have been seeing the same guy for some time now, and your relationship is progressing. Women are pretty canny to those signs. Remember parents used to be teenagers, and we still remember pretty good. You should probably be talking more to your mom as well as your Dr..

FA

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (4 February 2010):

eyeswideopen agony auntThe HPV vaccine is most effective on girls who haven't had intercourse so your doctor will want to know if you have. You will most likely get the shot but he should know just in case.

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A female reader, old-spinstah United Kingdom +, writes (4 February 2010):

Best to be up front with your doctor about these things. It may well affect the directions he gives you about starting the Pill. Your mother does not need to accompany you in to the doctor's office even though you are under 16. Ask her to wait in the waiting room. If she won't, say it again in the doctor's office as soon as you're in there (politely). The doctor should respect your wishes and ask her to wait if you stand your ground. If she wants to know why, tell her that you want to start taking responsibility for yourself a bit more and get used to doing important things like looking after your health on your own. (If you use this excuse, however, you'll have to follow through with it and start making all your own appointments, making your own way to the surgery etc)

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