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I've got to live with my ex for another 4 months and she's seeing other guys already! How do I deal with this?

Tagged as: Breaking up, The ex-factor, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (13 November 2012) 4 Answers - (Newest, 14 November 2012)
A male United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I'm 26 my ex is 21. (go figure I'd have relationship issues right?) Alright, so my now ex-girlfriend and I were together for 2 years. A few weeks ago I noticed a change in her behavior, she was shielding her phone. So I looked through it when she was sleeping, found out she was seeing another guy at her new job. We argued she threatened suicide, I called the cops they took her to hospital. After hospital visit she was supposed to see a counselor and take medication for mental issues, psychosocial disorder? I broke up with her but we still live together until I leave for bootcamp.

I don't have anywhere else to live temporarily. All I can do is stay over a friend's house or go out with friends. Need some advice on dealing with this. I know she still sees other guys so its irritating living with her, she still doesn't clean or anything, and is just as messy and irresponsible as she was when we were together. (thank god we're broken up, the next guy can deal with that lol) I've noticed that she tries to act nice and I'm more standoffish. She keeps asking me where I'm going, what did I do the night I went out. Or asks me when will I be back home or when will I come home from work. I don't reply. We're not togoether so its none of her business. I don't talk to her or ask her anything. She means nothing to me because I see that her "guy friends" were kept around in case we broke up. And I'm sure she was talking to them when we were together. Her family's disappointed for what she's done sorry for them but I don't want her back, I can get a better girl in the future. (but it will be a LONG time before I settle down, time to enjoy the freedom)

Anyway, I've got 4 months til I leave for bootcamp(train me to be a warrior! can't wait!) and I have to stay busy. Trying to go out with friends and meet other girls, lol back to the old drawing board. I've been focused on working out, reading and finding a gym, maybe do some boxing or something. Any advice would be appreciated.

View related questions: broke up, ex girlfriend, my ex

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A male reader, DV1 United States +, writes (14 November 2012):

DV1 agony auntJust ignore her.

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A male reader, Fatherly Advice United States + , writes (13 November 2012):

Fatherly Advice agony aunttwo bits of advice,

Move out whatever it takes.

Don't adopt the characteristics that you despise in her, Being Shallow, cheating, Treating members of the opposite sex as objects or back up plans.

I know you are angry and feel that you deserve some sort of revenge. Don't hurt some stranger to get it.

And third ( I know counting trouble) Next time don't get a girlfriend who wants to be your mother. Most of your break up was caused by that alone.

FA

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (13 November 2012):

Honeypie agony auntThink of her as an annoying room-mate. And keep busy these next 4 months.

That doesn't mean you have to be rude or an asshat. It's just such a waste of energy.

IF you think the two of you need some new rules since you will be room mates for the next 4 months sit her down and make some "room-mate rules".

And yes, life goes on... for both of you.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2012):

Four months is roughly 16 weekends. There are at least 3 major holiday weekends in that time, presumably you will go to your family for those, that leaves 12 weekends. Ask 4 of your friends if you can stay with them for 3 of those weekends. Put those on your calendar and theirs so you know your schedule for the next 4 months.

Then you will only have the weekdays to deal with her. Get up, eat breakfast (clean up after yourself) and go out for the day. Go to work or the gym or the library. Pack a lunch so you can eat away from the house. Then either eat dinner at home or volunteer at a soup kitchen. Coffee houses generally allow you to sit for long periods of time as long as you have purchased a beverage or food item. Locate the volunteer center for your community and seek out suitable opportunities. Keeping your focus on helping others will diminish the effects of the breakup. Not to mention taking your youthful energy and spare time and putting it to good use.

Alternatively, contact your military recruiter and ask if you can move up your enlistment date.

Thank you for your service.

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