A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:right, im extremly confused at the moment.ive known this guy `stu` for nearly 3 years, and from about the 2nd day of knowing him i have fancied the pants off him, and over time learnt to love him. 1 year into knowing him he gets a girlfriend as a rebound of me. me and `stu` are best friends at school now. theres always been something there. he kind of cheated on his girlfriend with me, but nothing really happened. hes started giving me signals again saying he wants more than a hug for his birthday and that he loves me in texts at the end.but, i got with this other guy `dale` a while ago and ive really grown to like him. he lives quiet far away and im going to see him soon to sort things out between us. im really confused as to whos right to like.. im just so confused. my friends say what ever happens is for the best. have you any advice? sorry that was a long story haha. xx
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female
reader, Blue_Angel0316  +, writes (7 September 2008):
 Stu may think of you in the same manner as you do him yet again he may think of you like a best female friend who he might want more with. Do consider that if he has cheated on his girlfriend with you he could in turn cheat on you. If you have slept with him then he may think of you simply as a friend with benefits.(after all he probably knows how you feel about him.) You have to decide if loosing the other male friends attention is worth it all in the end.
Dale is far away but it gives you time to know if you really care enough or miss him to the point that you really want to persue the realtionship with him. By all means be fair and treat him with respect because he could turn out to be a great friend if nothing else comes of it.
At any rate consider YOUR feelings and take your time in making a decision as you have already stated you are confused. If you choose Stu let him know that you are not willing to be 2nd best and you won't tolerate him cheating in any form. Stick to your guns!
Form the friendship that is started with Dale and let it go from there. At 16 hon you don't need to rush. You have time to pick and choose. Seek the wisdom of your elders and ask God to help you decide.
God bless,
Blue_Angel
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