A
female
age
36-40,
*ust-maybe
writes:I have been dating my bf for almost 8 months now. He is super sweet and tells me he loves me yet I haven't met his family or vise versa. I am 21 he is 34, he keeps saying that our families wouldn't accpet our relationship. In the begining I believed him but now I am wondering if it just my be he is ashamed or maybe just playing me. How do I know if his feelings for me are real or if I am jsut another "girl".?
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male
reader, Denizen  +, writes (7 November 2009):
 What do you think your next step in this relationship might be? If you are going to marry or move in together it doesn't really matter what anyone else thinks. If not then you must ask yourself how this relationship is going to progress. Do you both see a future together or are you happy continuing the way you are for the moment. It's all down to you two in the end.
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (6 November 2009):
 Do YOU think your family will have problem with the age difference?
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A
female
reader, just-maybe +, writes (6 November 2009):
just-maybe is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOk to answer some of the questions you all asked -1) He says that our families won't approve of our age difference. He said his family will make a huge deal out of it and my family will hate him. 2) I have met some of his friends, and a few of them have made rude comments about my age. 3)He's not married, I have been to his home, there is no sign of a woman's touch there at all LOL. I have answered his cell phone, used his computer, he doesn't seem to hide anything from me. 4)We see each other 4 or 5 times a week, some times more, sometimes less all depending on our work loads.
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A
female
reader, Jendorset +, writes (6 November 2009):
Sounds to me that you are just his bit on the side. If he doesnt let you meet his family soon then i would end it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2009): ++++++++++++++
I read your post, and instantly I thought he might be MARRIED.
How committed are you two? Any talks about moving in together? Exclusive? Did you meet any acquaintances of his?
How often do you meet him?
If just his friends, he may of just wanted to show off the "younger woman," his friends wouldn't spill the beans that he's married or tell his wife about you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2009): I don't know that he is playing you, that would mean he has a bunch of other women on the string, you haven't mentioned that. He isn't ready to introduce you to his family, it could be because he is afraid his family or yours will be very judgemental of your relationship and could ruin it by harping on him that you are not right or vice versa.
Or it could indicate that he doesn't see your relationship as a long term one therefore he is giving in to the pressure that your families wouldn't like your relationship. That said, how does he know that for sure?
I would ask him to be a little more in depth about what he means. Ask him if his parents have ever disapproved of another of his girlfriends before, I would start first with that question and see how he responds.
I think he just thinks it is too early in the relationship to meet family. There is something else to consider. Men don't always see meeting parents as a sign that the relationship is getting serious or that he is committed to you, as in wanting to marry you, women make that mistake that events have meaning for a man, an event is not a thingn to hang a sign post on. To a man he is merely dating you....until he actually steps up and asks you to marry him. Men also know that women think this way and maybe he doesn't want you to get the idea that he is ready to marry you. Men are funny like that.
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A
male
reader, Denizen +, writes (6 November 2009):
I have to ask why he thinks his family wouldn't accept you.
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