A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:I'm beginning to get quite down on myself. It's been a long time since I've had a relationship. I'm not giving up hope on finding that someone, it's just the advice I keep getting from friends seems so contradictory. For instance, everyone keeps telling me that that special someone comes along when you least expect it! But, I'm always looking for someone, I'm always thinking when I go out could this be the day I meet someone. Since many people have told me this and they are in relationships, I'm starting to think this it true. So how do I stop thinking about wanting to meet someone when I go out? Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, pinktopaz + ♥, writes (6 November 2009):
It's okay to think about wanting to meet someone. However, it's kind of more along the lines when you go out to just have fun and not give a care about whether you meet someone that night or not. Just go out and have fun, but don't be in the mindset thinking that if you don't meet someone that your night sucked. Have a good time with your girlfriends, of course be open to meeting someone new, just be carefree and don't focus on meeting someone.
A
female
reader, katyayni  + ♥, writes (6 November 2009):
 HiActually, your friends have a point there. And it isn't that some mysterious hand of fate is at play (ok, little bit... I believe in destiny), but the reason is more down home than that. You see, men also have certain very sharp instincts... and they are particularly fine when it comes to sensing a woman desperate for a man. For some that is enough to get as fast away from her as humanly possible, while for some it just means that the woman is fair game, and vulnerable. In either cases, you are not getting the man you deserve, right. Now let us talk of the plight of a man who thinks that he will be the sole entertainment of the woman he is dating... that he will be heavily and deeply responsible for entertaining her, taking care of her and be her whole life... That is the most unappealing future (and I must say, that as a woman, I would feel ill-used if I were my man's sole entertainment). Now, let us talk of a woman who is extremely satisfied with her life, the way things are, who knows that she has a good life and exudes all the confidences of one who knows and appreciates herself (not conceited, just content)... well, that is an instant attraction for many. And hence men come when she least expects them... because there is nothing missing in her life and that having a man to share it with will make it more enjoyable, but not necessarily better. Now, when you say that you are always looking for someone thinking that if you will meet him today... well, that is too much thinking don't you think? If you just relax and let life unfold at her own speed, who knows who you might meet? Someone interesting, someone who guides you into making a better life... a life changing encounter... the possibilities are endless. A man is only a small part of the picture... very vital and essential but not all. Also, I think that you are letting life slip by unnoticed in your focus on the quest for a man. Relax and enjoy life, savor the present.. .who knows where this journey will take us all ? If you are already doing all this and more then I am happy for you. But, if you aren't, well, why don't you give it a try, for a few days at least? Take Care Love : )
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A
male
reader, generalist  +, writes (6 November 2009):
see dear,first and foremost its important to know that you are not the only one who is going through this feeling.Secondly stop getting troubled by this feeling...you know instead start visualising the kind of person you want,start visualising the things which you will do with him...start visualising the best times you are gonna spend with himmm.your entire focus should turn from WHAT YOU DONT WANT to WHAT YOU WANT....chill dear......just dont panic...and FEEL GOOD...and then it will happen...the problem is you want to put a time boundary and its not fair
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A
male
reader, generalist +, writes (6 November 2009):
see dear,
first and foremost its important to know that u r not the only one who is going through this feeling.
Secondly stop getting troubled by this feeling...u know instead start visualising the kind of person u want,start visualising the things which u wwill do with him...
start visualising the best times u r gonna spend with himmm.
your entire focus should turn from WHAT YOU DONT WANT
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A
female
reader, Good Girl + ♥, writes (6 November 2009):
 You are going through what I call the "mid-twenties lull" too young to go out and get it out of that gnawing, desperate "I'm getting older" feeling, too old to have the same wild sense of adventure that usually leads to trouble. Allow yourself to be excited to meet someone and accept mens' attention no matter who they are (unless of course they are insulting)When you flirt it kind of stirrs up a certain law of attraction so don't hesitate to flirt back, feel confident and sexy. When it rains, it pours! Do a little rain dance, but don't go too far out of your way. Have fun!
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