A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Question: Does this girl actually fancy me, or is it just because i'm different to what she's used to the only reason she seems interested?I started dating this girl at university back in June, before the summer holidays, and we've been texting each other regularly, and she came to my hometown to visit me once, and vice versa.. it's about an hour by train.Anyway, we seem to really like each other. I've just got back to university, and i went over to hers just to cook dinner for us, and watch a movie. lots of cuddling and kissing on the sofa. So far, so good. Now the thing that's really worrying me, is that she said she's not sure if she fancies me, and wants to take it slowly and for us to really get to know each other. Now the last part sounds quite normal, it's just the 'not sure about fancying me' part that i'm worried aboutShe told me a little bit about the boys in her past, and basically said they were pretty horrible, and that because i'm really different to them, as i'm apparently quite a sweet refined guy (her words - not mine! although i think i'm quite nice) she doesn't know how to react to it, and is a bit confused. She did say that i seem intelligent, and that i make her laugh, and that she was really nervous just before i arrived, which i think are good signs. oh, and that she was really flattered i'd chosen her over all the other girls - i have no idea how to take that last part!Now, i really like this girl, and having had not a great time in the past with girls.. generally just getting used by women who were after one specific thing.. i'm totally happy not to be rushing into anything too soon.I'm just worried that she doesn't actually fancy me, and that maybe me being 'nice' is just so different for her that she doesn't want to lose that, either because it is quite nice to have someone who genuinely likes you about.. or simply because there's nothing better around. I think she's just quite shy and inexperienced, she hinted that she'd never had sex.Anyway, i'm just a bit worried, i've never had any kind of relationship with a girl, aside from a few one-night stands (not all on purpose - mostly girls i thought actually liked me, then turned out not to) so this is all new for me as well.Anyway should i be worried?
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female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (19 September 2008):
There is no way to tell the future and see if you two will last forever and have a farm and a dozen kids... or whether you will split up next week.
Since you can't tell the future the best plan with relationships is to not worry about it too much.
Enjoy what you have now! It all sounds pretty great so far so don't let these little doubts get in the way of that.
Good Luck!! xx
A
male
reader, zelgamer  +, writes (19 September 2008):
 When I met my wife, she didn't know what to think about me. She dated me first only because I was sweet and seemed like a nice guy. Her past relationships were completely horrible. After some time of things going great, she flat out told me she didn't know what to think about me. I scared her because to her, it seemed to good to be true. Those are her words. She would always tell me I deserved better and that use to scare me because I saw a break up on its way.
She ended up breaking up with me for 2 weeks, it wasn't in bad terms either, though I was hurt and torn, she said it was to gather herself. She wanted to know if she really loved me, and then 2 weeks went by and she asked for forgivness in ever breaking up with me. We are now married. I'm just putting this out there because they seem like similiar situations, but remember, not everything ends up the same. Hope I helped in someway.
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