A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I love deeply my girlfriend of a year and a half, but I feel she does not love as much as I do. I know she loves me, just not as deeply as I woukd like. has anyone experienced the same thing? is there any way, method so I can love her less and be even? its kinda painful. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2013): original poster: well I'm the romantic kind of guy, I literally live for her and she is cold,is not tgat she doesn't love me, she does but she is not affectionate as I am and sometimes is hurtful and frustrating. Ms sadie is right, I should have a hobbie instead of having her at tge center of my world
to so very confused: what is painful to me Is that she is not expressive and affectionate ad I am so I'm trying to no to be cheesy and clingy all time, to be on the same level because frankly I'm getting tired of it.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (9 August 2013):
 exactly what about her behavior is painful for you?
in every relationship there are ebbs and flows... sometimes I love my hubby more than he loves me and sometimes he loves me more than I love him... this is normal...
what is it that she does or does NOT do that makes you feel so unloved?
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A
female
reader, MsSadie +, writes (9 August 2013):
 Why do think you love her too much? Is it the kind of scenario where you put a lot more in to the relationship than she does? Are you the type who likes to surprise your partner with little gifts all the time, go out of your way to please her, and sacrifice what you want so that she remains content? Do you call frequently, repeat "I love you" multiple times when you see her, and constantly remind her how amazing she is to you?
If that's the case, I recommend you get a hobby. You won't love her less, but you'll be less inclined to smother her with your adoration.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (9 August 2013):
You have no way of knowing this. What you're doing is judging her based on how she shows her love which might just be different than you.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (9 August 2013):
 The real question you should be asking yourself is
"Why do I feel insecure about my girlfriend's love for me?"
You can't dictate how someone else expresses love towards you. She may not be as gushy or demonstrative, but would you have your girlfriend be someone who is NOT the one you fell in love with?
Love is *supposed* to feel out of control! It's not some horse race to try and gain power or control by being the more "unattached" partner. If you're trying to keep control of the relationship by being the less "in love" person, then what is the point?
You've been with her for a year and a half. You said that she loves you, right? Then don't try and overthink things and simply enjoy her love as SHE is expressing it towards her. If by love you mean "sex", then understand that some people just have different "rhythms" than others.
Keep your life rich and full. Your girlfriend cannot be your everything. Have friends, go out, have hobbies, have goals and ambitions. Showing that you live your life with purpose (not just for her) and devoting yourself to bettering yourself and your standing in this world will warm a woman's heart. If your life is stuck in a rut, do something about it! Upgrade your wardrobe. Work out in a gym (or add something you don't normally do while you're there!). Travel and experience life! She is part of your life, not the entire thing. Always stay in balance with everything!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2013): I don't think you love your gf that much.when you love someone, you don't count or observe if he loves you less or he loves you more.
Because true love is selfless.
You don't think what you can get from someone you love but more of what you can give.
since your thinking your not getting what you expected from her, its not love its being selfish.
Because when it comes to true love no one is really keeping scores, Who loves less, who loves more? there is no such thing.
Maybe you should ask yourself first before you question your gf's love for you.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (9 August 2013):
 How can you measure how deeply YOU love and she love?
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