A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi folks, I have posted most of this in a diffrent question but from the advice that I took (with many thanks to all the people who took the time to reply) I find myself in a diffrent problem.I have known this woman online for 4 years, she is happily married with a 1yr old daughter.Over the last few months our reletionship has changed dramiticly, the normal talk of hows you and little un turned into full on flirty and very sexual discriptive messages. From the offset she allways said this is fun and never wanted it to seem anything else or for it to hurt me. Having swapped intimate photos and multiple phone sex calls, i decided to go and meet her on the other side of the country and she accepted without thinking. The weekend approached and i was really nervious and the daily chats turned into hourly contact but more and more discriptive. We met had such a great time together, went the cinema like a couple hugged and kissed openly and then had the most fun I have ever had in my life back at the hotel room.Since then things were weird, but soon after we were both chatty again with eachother and back to how we were before the flirting occured. She says that she wants to visit me in a few months and im being honest i cannot wait for it, I am not the worlds greatest looking guy and have never been in a relationship without being rejected and can never find a match like this woman.I dont know how to react, im acting weird but she is still interested in me but not at the discriptive message sort of way. I am confused and dont want to loose her as a friend or as an affair but I feel I was doing stupid things like sending her random texts for a reply, looking at websites for gifts, suggesting concerts to get away for and excuse for meeting.It is so weird, she is not the normal type of woman i would go for, shes bigger, more open about her problems (we all have them), has a kid and is married but I want to hear how her day has gone, whats happend, can I help in any way and its driving me mad to why I am having these feelings and why not with someone else. So its has been 5 days since I have not made contact and it's killing me doing so, to the point of I'm afraid to admit, but I am getting depressed. I know she is married and will never go for me as I'm a looser and dont deserve her but I close my eyes I see her, I dream about her and want the best for her and that is without me in her life, but I want her I dont care about her baggage I have never been in love like this.I've gone out, got new clothes, been around mates and instead of going after girls I sulked about and wound myself up more with the beer not helping. I am late into work, early leaving work and I know a damb right pain to talk to but I feel that whats the point, no one has shown me feelings like this and I dont think anyone ever will again :(Any help?
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female
reader, Tashie08 +, writes (21 June 2010):
You said it yourself,she's married,got a child and will never leave him for you, So there is no future. It sounds like you're developing feelings or her, something that started as fun i going to end in you being heart-broken. And possibly not just you, but also her husband and most importantly her little girl. How would you feel if you two got found out and it split the family apart? Could you cope with the guilt of breaking a childs heart? I know i couldn't. Obviously its up to you what you do,but if i were you, i'd end it now before things get mesy
A
female
reader, MamaLilly  +, writes (21 June 2010):
 Honestly? Don't get involved. She has a family, whether she is happy or not is her problem, she shouldn't have done what she did if she was married with a young child. But you aren't the innocent party neither.
To *ME* it looks like she used you as an outlet to have "fun". She isn't happy in her marriage and is trying to find it outside the marriage, which is a no, no! There is NO going back to a normal friendship after something like this. Tell her what you told us. Exactly what you told us.
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