A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hello, I'm a 20 years old female, and I'm not happy with my sexual life. I have been married for a month now and i feel like my husband is impotent, because we haven't had a normal sex yet. He ejaculates after one min, and can not hold his erection for more than 1 min. We have had a lot of fights regarding this. I keep on asking him to seek medical help, but he is refusing. I am really frustrated and I dont know what to do. I feel like he is impotent. If he is, then is there any cure for impotency? PLease help :(
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male
reader, Red Green 0289 +, writes (20 September 2009):
You're going to need to work with him on this... he may have unfortuantly trained his body to seek very quick orgasms... guys do this sometimes, as they have to learn to jack-off fast and quietly... his penis (and brain) are going ot have to be retrained. He's going to have to also learn to delay his orgasms and learn to pleasure you. It's not THAT hard, but it will take some work... but then again the work is not all that unpleasent. If you make sure that all his pleasure is at your hand (and not his... ) start taking things very slow, where the WHOLE POINT of the play is to delay his orgasm. Manual and oral stiumlation only for a while... then vaginal... At his age he sould have occassions where he's going 15 min's (which may seem like an hour to you!)... and he should be able to recover and sport another rock hard boner in about 5 to 10 mins...Be patient with him, but he's going to have to show up and get into the cure... that is IF this is the cause...
A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (20 September 2009):
 Your mate is the opposite of impotent, which means the inability to either desire, perform or participate in human sexuality. Me suspects that he is just so turned-on by you, and being sexual with you, that he ejaculates prematurely. This is much less a problem than impotency, and may rather become a truly valuable tendency and commodity to your relationship.
He is young and full of active hormones, as are you - and as is the case of most young heterosexual males anywhere - he is totally horny and easily stimulated to sexual release. He simply needs to learn that women are almost universally unsatisfied by quick sex without ample foreplay.
They don't teach this stuff in high school or anywhere else - but real life.
My recommendation is to explore the archives of this Web site, and others, for advice on subjects like foreplay, romance, female stimulation, clitoral complex, G-spot massage and more. You could start-off by entering the following in the search field above:
"Double M on foreplay"
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A
male
reader, softtouchmale2003 +, writes (20 September 2009):
 He needs to desensitize a bit. There are things that can be done to make it last a bit longer.
He's just very excited and so he's going to prematurely ejaculate before you get any enjoyment out of it.
Try and be patient with him. This is really humiliating for him. He's probably afraid to go see someone about it.
One choice is to get some sort of desensitizing cream. That makes it harder for him to be stimulated physically. But the thing is sex is also in the mind. And the mind controls arousal. When he's excited like this, his brains far ahead of where it should be.
Actually, that also could mean he's strongly attracted to you sexually.
You could try and get him "prepped" by letting him go for a second round, which means basically getting him hard again after the first round. He should last longer that way.
But it seems he just needs to develop some sort of control over this. A little bit of understanding and care is better than having fights over it. All that does is make it even worse for him.
Try and think of it this way. Sex is about the most personal thing you can have with someone. And if it isn't working as well as you want it to, you two have to work on it together. He definitely needs to let you help him and if going out and getting some help will do it for you, then you should both go and see someone about it.
Finally, it just takes some practice and time. Maybe he's just not acclimated to having sex on a regular basis. With more practice and time, he might calm down enough to actually enjoy the act.
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