A
female
age
26-29,
*aughAlot2010
writes:Here it goes.. I was saving myself until I got married for the right man. I was making out with my boyfriend and I ended up giving him oral sex. Does that make me a non virgin anymore?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2011): I view this as a matter of opinion. If you are being technical, you have not lost your vaginal virginity, but in my opinion theres nothing logical about abstinence. Do not be ashamed of your choice. If you had fun, then more power to you.Paige
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2011): Most women (and men) will consider you a "sexually active virgin". My Fiancee was a virgin until 29, but was giving blowjobs and handjobs since 20 or so. She considers losing her virginity when she actually had penetrative sex at 29, but she was certainly sexual before that. I have to concur, and don't think of her as losing her virginity from a blowjob.
Don't worry...most women start out this way, unlike men who usually jump right in to sex if given the chance.
Religiously, I'm sure you will also be told conflicting things, but I agree it is mostly a personal perception...not a technical rule.
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A
female
reader, LaughAlot2010 +, writes (28 June 2011):
LaughAlot2010 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks guys(: I went and got cleansed. I fully plan to set standards for myself and not lose my virginity till I am married, but thanks for all the advice!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2011): It means you've had sex but you're still a virgin. The perfect crime!
No two ways about it, oral IS sex, literally in-your-face and arguably hotter/naughtier than penetration. But, yes, you are still a virgin, pure as sweet white snow, and still would be if you did this again a dozen times over. Hope you both liked it.
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A
female
reader, Fate100percent  +, writes (28 June 2011):
Sexual intercourse normally = penetration (penis to vagina/anus)
Everything else is normally classed as 'sexual contact'
So yes you are a virgin.
Personally, I don't understand doing 'sexual contact' but not intercourse with a partner to 'save' yourself. (As oral sex seems far more intimate than sexual intercourse in my opinion).
If I were saving myself for the right man I would do 'nothing' sexual contact wise. But that is just my opinion, it is neither right nor wrong, what you have done, each to their own and all that! And when/if you do have sexual intercourse, remember to be safe :-)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2011): If a girl save's herself for her husband sexual intercourse, but had hundreds of oral sex experiences with different men before....how would she define herself and i wonder how others would define her? virginity hmmmmmmmmm always puzzled me.
Just be true to you and what you want:)
spunky monkey.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2011): Physically, yes, you are virgin. Depends on what you are saving? Where do you draw your line? If you keep flirting with boundaries, you will cross that line and have sexual intercourse. So I would set personal boundaries before you get in that situation again. Because oral sex is sex, and in the heat of the moment you can lose your rational thought about saving yourself and give it all up in a second, literally. I think you are on the right path of saving yourself. You will have a better future for doing so. So I admire this and envy you. goodluck!
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A
female
reader, dmartin89 +, writes (27 June 2011):
 Oral sex is sex, but it is not sexual intercourse and that is what virginity is based on.
You have not had sexual intercourse, therefore you are a virgin.
People can go on and on about "spiritual" virginity, the fact that you have lost your innocence but where do you draw the line? Having dirty thoughts and masterbating is not an "innocent" action, so does that mean you should lose your virginity when you masturbate? No.
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A
female
reader, sammy1986 +, writes (27 June 2011):
oral is still sex but you are still a virgin as your hymen will still be in tact this will break through penetration
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2011): Biologically you're still a virgin because there hasn't been any penetration. I personally still count oral as sex.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2011): still being a virgin has nothing to do with whether you've had sex or not.
there's lots of ways to have sex (oral is one of them) and intercourse is one of them. Being a virgin just refers to whether you've done the latter. it may have more significance for some people because that's the only way that carries the risk of pregnancy, and carries a higher risk for STD transmission.
but look at it this way. if you found out your bf did oral with another girl, would you get mad?? of course you would get mad, and why? because you know it's also having sex.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2011): Don't fret, you are still a virgin..!
Your virginity is only taken when a penis goes into your vagina.
So peace at mind :)
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice + ♥, writes (27 June 2011):
 Hi Laugh,
We sure get this question a lot. You will get all kinds of answers. Some will even question whether or not virginity is important or wise.
In the end, what matters is you own personal set of beliefs. If you don't have a set of standards from your parents or from your religion, you will need to decide for yourself. I have no trouble adopting a set of standards from family or faith, this is a big decision for such a young person. guidance from wiser heads is a good thing.
My advice to you as you set about setting a standard for yourself is to think about the future and what this will mean to you years from now. Don't weigh as heavily on what you want now. Think about it as levels of intimacy, rather than a list of activities that are allowed or not allowed. Intimacy is all about trust. Think about how much you could be hurt by trusting someone with more than they are worthy of.
My personal answer is that you shouldn't engage in sex with someone who is not committed to you in a long term relationship. Sex to me is defined as touching another persons body or allowing another person to touch your body for the purpose of feeling sexual pleasure. My definition of long tern relationship is a legally bound contract ie marriage.
Now those are pretty strict guidelines. I have not always kept those guidelines. But, at my age and level of experience I believe that is what is wise.
FA
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A
female
reader, RedAthena +, writes (27 June 2011):
 Most cultures accept that losing your virginity is when the penis enters the vagina.
So, according to that logic, you are still a virgin.
Yet, you have become SEXUAL by performing Oral Sex. It would be safe to say you lost your innocence.
Oral Sex IS Sex.
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