A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes: enis is to small to satisfy my wife and she secretly desires a larger penis : when we where first dast over 22 years ,but I feel I have been married now ju that my pting she told me she had only 2 previous lovers prior prior to our relationship,when I asked her about them she brought up one that she gasped and said he was "gianormous" right to my face ,which really hurt .After working through my own pride we had great sex,then about seven years and four children later she brought up twice wondering what it would be like now having sex with some one who is well endowed.She saw my pride again falter and never said much about it other than she would never risk our marriage over a fling no-matter how good it was and that it was a Sin in Gods eyes( we both are very religious) than about 10 years into our marriage one of my friends about 10 years younger than me had a boxing match at local night club ,it was only three rounds and he won.,my wife had been drinking ( and this was my fault) was drinking double shots of long island ice teas so was went over to congradulate my friend my wife couldn't quit starring at him .I shook his hand then my wife went up ( drunk by this time) hugged him tightly with hips rubbing kissed him wetly on the lips then grabbed where his crotch was ,but only grabbed only a handfull of athletic cup and told him again infront of me" you are welcome at my house anytime"I took her hand and almost had to drag her away ,on the way home she told me not to get jealous because I don't have what he has.The next morning while me wife was sober and quiet hungover I confronted her about and she swore she didn't remember anything.Now 2 years later she has not ever repated the same actions,she swears she is happy with my 4.5" penis but we don't have sex very often when we do it is normally just one position and when I take longer than 10 minutes to orgasm she asks almost all the time how much longer untill I come as if she is getting impatient with me and wants me to hurry up and finish and during all our last 15 years of marriage and sex she is not vocal at all,I have asked if she would like me to try a penis extension ,a dildo , or even try swinning and finding a well endowed sex partner as long as she included me in some from or another and she has told me know everytime and says I am sick for thinking like this. Our marriage has always been strong but my health in the last few years has declined bieng typeI diabetic heart attack high blood pressure back surgeries and knee replacements gaing over 70 lbs since our marriage becan I wonder if I am no longer attractive to her for over 40 years Some honest input from women would help here
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2012): I guess after reading numerous other posts i am not alone in this phase of marriage maybe it is a hormonal thing as she approaches her 40's? I guess I should be happy she has always been honest with me I have never caught her in any lies and she has always I mean always stood by my side through horrific times our family has faced ( not infedlity) and my declining health .
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2012): thanks very confused you do add some valid points however my wife does not like oral sex at all I am now remebering one party after our second year of marriage where one of my co-workers had a house warming party and one of the co coworkers who was known for his prowess with women and of course his member size bieng well above average ,and had a reputation as bieng wellendowed and good in the sack from all the women including married women ,well when I came out of the bathroom I saw him flirting with my wife ,later that week my wife told me if I hadn't returned from the bathroom so quicly she felt she would have had sex with him and she couldn't take her eyes off the growing bulge in his cacky's and how turned she got and wet when she saw it and she fantasized about him and his member when we had sex but she told me the moment was over and it never went any farther that that and I also have the other few inccidents listed on the1st posting ,and again I am lucky for once a aweek it usaully goes a coule of weeks inbetween us having any intercourse I am als very confused andloosing my self esteem between my chronic health issues and her lack of desire for me now I love her more than anything in the world and would do anything to make her happy with me and desire me in the bed the way she used too!
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (13 July 2012):
 Thanks for the update. You are in your 40’s and married 22 years and having sex once a week or so… sounds good to me to be honest.
Would she prefer a different time… I hate having sex at bed time.. I’m tired… I want sex either in the morning or afternoon on the weekends… or maybe a quickie at dinner.
To be honest I don’t really much care for actual intercourse and I do it for my partner more than for me… I do not (as most women) orgasm from penetration.
What are you doing for your wife to make sure she’s satisfied? Do you give her lots of affection and foreplay? Or is it stick it in and cum…. That would turn me off too…
Personally if your penis is small missionary is not a good position… my partner is about 5 inches and with a bit of belly now… doggy style is the best for us… my back can’t handle deep stick any more… (he kneels at my bottom with my knees on his shoulders… too hard on my back… and his knees…
I doubt she’s cheating on you… the incident with the boxer was a drunken thing…
YOU KEEP asking her if she wants a bigger penis and she keeps saying NO… what part of her are you not believing….
You say she secretly desires a larger penis but the person that desires it is YOU… I don’t want a man with a bigger penis I’ve had them.. they HURT… it’s not about the size anyway it’s about the man it’s attached to.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2012): Thank you I am happy we have lasted this long but again last night our sex was at best a pathetic remeberance of what we used to have she laid in the missionary position and no movement ( recipocation) no facial expressions and after 10 minutes or so aked if I was almost done because she was tired and had to get up early for work,you know when we first got married and prior she was eager and seemmed to enjoy sex with me ,I have asked and she keeps saying she is happy with me and when there is a problem she'll let me know .To be honest I have never seen any signs of adultry no dating sites on her phone or computer she doesn't seem to be secrative about anything with me but now I am lucky if we have sex 1 x a a week I have asked numerous times if she wants to try a another well endowed lover and I can either watch or she wants particapate ,and she keeps telling me I'm sick for thinking like that I have even asked her she want me to try a slip on penis extension and she gets even more upset I really don't know how to approach her about it any more without it turning into a huge argument I have even tried to get her to drink to let her inhabitions down and she won't drink ever since the episode with my boxing buddy HELP!!!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2012): "Size doesn't matter" except when it does matter. I think your worries about her dissatisfied feelings are correct. I also think what she did with that boxer when she was drunk was EXTREMELY disrespectful to you. If she doesn't see it that way then she does not respect you. Its not enough that she understands her behavior was inappropriate. Some people avoid doing "inappropriate" things out of concern for their own public reputation more than concern for their spouse's feelings. Your wife needs to understand that what she did was hurtful to you and she should feel very badly about it for that reason.I agree with the other poster, you need to sit down with her and have a serious talk about your sex life, romantic feelings towards each other, etc. Ask honest questions, and be prepared to hear some painful answers.
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A
female
reader, Anastasia  +, writes (13 July 2012):
 Hi, Let me congratulate you on 22 years of marriage and the fact that despite your ups and downs, both you and your wife have kept rallying through it. It is a great feat in this day and age.I want you to remember one thing always in your mind, when you got married 22 years ago, your penis was probably the size it is now.....and she was crazy in love with you then to marry you. So love is not the issue here. I believe curiousity is. You've mentioned that you both are very religious and this curiousity mixed with your faith forms a kind of tug of war between flesh and spirit. I believe as well that when people are drunk...the age of myth that the truth comes out is true. But your wife said nothing that you did not know....it was just that she vocalised it.....which hurtAs a woman...and this is just me...I've been told I'm not normal...lol. But this is my honest opinion.A marriage is made up of many pieces...there is the emotional, sexual, truth, values, physical etc. Lots of them. Each one needs to be in balance with the others for a marriage to be perfect...newsflash...there are no perfect marriages. Your wife is not being honest with you, so my advice is to sit with her, very seriously and let her know that you would like an honest answer about your marriage. Not her religiously obligated answer but what she really feels inside. You also need to be prepared for what she says if she is willing to be honest. Sex is a very important part of any marriage, it's a form of expression and intimacy, if you are not feeling close to her again, let her know how it makes you feel, tell her how you truly feel. Perhaps a romantic weekend away in a different environment would help to make the discussion grounds easier to relax in. But be honest. Best Wishes
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