A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I called my long time ex yesterday and my husband took it to the extreme. It was an honest text. A prophet at church shared some light about my life. I immediately told my husband a certain ex of mine told me the exact same thing. Out of curiosity to know how my ex knew i decided to call. Mind you he lives in London so not reachable.My husband read the text and blew off. I thought we had trust and he knows i will never be a disloyal woman.He storms out of the house and heads to a lounge and didn't return till late.To be frank i think i married a boy who still wants to live a single life. Our marriage is less than a yr and i see signs of a man who still wants freedom to do whatever. Once the opportunity opened itself he steps out. I have neen feeling insecured since we married. He constantly stares at other women. He doesn't have married friends and the two he knows cheats on their spouse. I have constantly have to chevk him and his outings. Ive checked his phone before and saw him chatting with other women which he denied. I don't check no more because i want to live long.I have apologized countless time now i just feel like he wants to take advantage of the situation to cheat.What should i do at this point?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (3 February 2016):
 It sounds like you both have no trust for each other, which makes me wonder why did you marry this man to begin with? If you are unhappy in your marriage well then leave, if you feel you cannot trust him then there is no point being married to him. All relationships need trust. You have only been married a year and look at all the doubts, I imagine it will only get worse and worse as the years go by.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2016): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionPlease how does one build bridge with someone who doesn't want to go counseling. He's been waiting for me to f##k up and now he wants to be an unremorseful dog. I have to say i regret marrying someone i knew barely 7 months.
I'm asking for what to do so I'm not been taken for granted here.
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A
male
reader, Garbo +, writes (3 February 2016):
 Don't contact your ex. Reason why he is your ex is because romance has ended, which means the only reason you were with your ex is romance, so now that you have contacted him it is about the "prophet"? This is not about trust, but about principle.
This does not mean that the way your husband reacted is appropriate.
As for the other accusations about him, I fail to see their relevance to the "prophet" issue other than just spitting dirt at him because he passed you off. This tells me that you two should get some counseling, with focus on improving communication, understanding each other's boundaries, and how to be positive to each other rather reactive. Couples often establish these negative routines early into marriage and never get out of them, often because they believe that their position is so righteous that it is beyond compromise and change. That is what you see in him, and I'm sure he sees some of that in you. It is time for both to find ways to build bridges.
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