A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey, I have been with my boyfriend for just over a year and we are pretty serious. He is 8 years older than me and has a 5 yr old son to his ex girlfriend. He has said to me that he was really in love with his ex and they were together for over 4 years and got engaged. Then she cheated on him and left him, and despite him trying to get her back she didn't want anything to do with him. Then one night she told him that if he gave her a baby she would get back together with him. He thought 'what is the chances that one night will end up with her getting pregnant?' so he stayed the night and alas, she got pregnant but still didn't want to be with him. She moved to the other side of the country with his son, so after a couple of years of flying back and forth to see his son my boyfriend moved nearby to see his son (and maybe get back together with her, even though it was more than 4 years after they broke up).They argued a lot and he realized getting back together with her was a stupid idea. A few months later we started dating.A couple of months after we had started dating and were officially 'boyfriend and girlfriend', his ex sent drunken text messages to him saying that if he broke up with me, she wanted to be with him. I was obviously upset by this and he said to me afterwards that although it was hard for him to say no because he had sought after this girl for many years, he wanted to be with me. She apologized personally to me and i forgave her.They remain friends which strikes me as quite weird (maybe i am just jealous). He says they have to be friends otherwise she could take his son from him but I don't see why they need to be in contact at all other than anything to do with their son. I asked him directly if she had said anything more to him since that first drunken text message and he said she had basically declared that they were meant to be together and she could tell that we weren't meant to be. But he did not tell me until a while after it happened because he was afraid it would upset me. Needless to say i do not forgive a second time for something like that!Sometimes I think that maybe he is close to her because he wants to keep her as an option if we break up.What should I do?
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broke up, drunk, engaged, ex girlfriend, get back together, his ex, jealous, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, QuirkLady  +, writes (8 July 2009):
 Man, forget that woman. She is trying to play games with your ex and to his credit he is not falling for that mess anymore. He has to do what he needs to do to keep his son in his life, and that most likely includes being super nice to her all the time even though he hates it. It's a shame what some people will do to their child's parents.
Don't even get involved in her games, that will give her ammo to use against your boyfriend. Kill her with kindness instead. She is wasting her life doing this and getting nowhere.
Good luck.
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