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Is it wrong to want a baby at such a young age?

Tagged as: Pregnancy, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (13 November 2008) 12 Answers - (Newest, 14 November 2008)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

is it bad to want a baby at such a young age? i feel myself really wanting to be a mum and i don't know why. i had a pregnancy scare a while ago and i was actually happy about it. me and my boyfriend are very happy together and i just reli want a baby with him.

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A female reader, lilmamma08 United States +, writes (14 November 2008):

lilmamma08 agony auntok, well in my opinion its not wrong. but you have to look in the future. your life will change, and it is hard raising a child. if i was you i would wait till you finish school, and have your priorities straight.i got pregnant at 18 and it was hard. i did not get to finish school, right now im a stay home mom trying to find someplace where i can finish my last year of school. time will tell. just do not do anything you will regret. make sure you both want it, and if marriage comes in future.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2008):

It is natural to have maternal instincts as you mature--that's hormones kicking in and encouraging you to do what your body is biologically designed for--BUT you are probably too young to raise a child. Unless you are financially self-sufficient and have your own place to live, the baby would be a burden to your parents and/or your boyfriend's, since you two won't be able to support it alone. Also, please be sure that your bf is on the same page as you about having a child before you start looking at pregnancy scares as a positive thing. Having a child is a decision couples should make together and while you may feel ready for one, chances are he isn't...especially if he is in your age range. Enjoy your own childhood, sweetie...you'll only have it once. Good luck =]

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A reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2008):

It's not wrong, it's instinct. How old do you think cave girls were when they got pregnant? Probably about 12. However if you had a baby you would probably soon change your mind as it's no walk in the park. You have plenty of time so just have some patience =]

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A reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

my parents

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A female reader, Teacake United States +, writes (13 November 2008):

Teacake agony auntThe question I have for you is to look at your friends - then look at their parents - who would you rather have take care of you if you had the choice to make before you were born?

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A male reader, HotANDcold United States +, writes (13 November 2008):

HotANDcold agony auntListen it’s not wrong it is just not right at this moment. You still growing up, there is a cycle you haven't complete yet and if you accelerate your life without completing the cycle it would come back to you in the future and you would regret it.

I personally thing motherhood it’s not an age thing, if you feel capable of providing care and love to the child then why not? I have seemed many ladies out there who are terrible mothers and their age is the "correct and right one" according to the society in which we all live.

My ex-girlfriend wanted to have a baby so badly she would honestly do whatever she could to make me do it without protection in order for her to get pregnant, I do not judge her I just see in her a woman with a lot of love dying to be a mother.

The good thing as you said is that your boyfriend is willing to do so, but don't forget life is just not an instant journey; life is a whole journey you must take slowly with time and responsibility in order to achieve your goals.

Good luck, from NYC!!

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A male reader, Bigdave United Kingdom +, writes (13 November 2008):

I wouldn't recommend having a baby so young. My advice to you is to go out, have fun and see the world. There's so much to see and do, in my opinion having a baby so young will just hold you back from doing those things and you may end up resenting the baby for that.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

hahahaha

thanks for advice your right

just i used to hate the idea of commitment now i'm like really in love and all i wana do is have a baby!

i dont know whats happening to me!!!

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A female reader, deejuliet United States +, writes (13 November 2008):

deejuliet agony auntYes it is wrong. But it is also completely normal! Your hormones are raging. You are also so happy with your boyfriend right now that a baby seems a logical next step. Just because you feel you want a baby right now does not mean that you have to give in to the irrational desire. You are not emotionally, physicaly or (most important) financially ready to have a baby. As emilyanswers already states and I completely agree : to have a baby right now would be a completely selfish, irresponsible, childish thing to do. Put your future baby's needs before your own and wait a few more years before bringing him/her into existance. When I was your age, I too wanted a baby. All I ever wanted in life is to be a Mom! Fortunately I didnt give in to that desire and waited until I was much older to have a baby. And I am so glad I did!

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A female reader, birdynumnums Canada +, writes (13 November 2008):

birdynumnums agony auntA baby JUST might be something to focus on an dream about and it's more likely that it represents something that you feel YOU are missing, like unconditional love. Or it could be a great way to escape becoming an independent young woman heading off to college!

Most young women love babies, BUT, It's better to wait and have a baby when it's all about the Baby! Babies need two stable parents, with a steady source of INCOME, and it's better to have one when you are in a legal partnership so there ARE always two people legally responsible for the Baby for the next 20 YEARS, until it is an ADULT. Besides, hey are only cute and cuddly until they start talking and thinking for themselves. Never teach them how to say "I'm bored" at age 5 and don't even get me started on teenagers. They might come home pregnant at 16!!! Then you will be a Grandma in your thirties!!! LMAO!!! Oops, did I just type that outloud?

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A female reader, Emilysanswers United Kingdom +, writes (13 November 2008):

Well it could be the last part of puberty sending you mad with hormones... btu some girls are just pretty much happy with being a mum in life and want nothing more.

However, just because you both want a baby, it doesn't mean you should do it.

It should just be a sign to make you work hard so you both have good jobs, some savings, a place to live, and are you planning to get married?

Once you are in a place to give a baby a good start in life (not living at home / in a council flat) then you can start trying.

You have to put the needs of the baby first, other wise you are just being selfish bringing it into a shit life to make YOU happy.

Good Luck!! xx

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2008):

I am a 19 year old girl and thinking about babies make me cringe. Its not that i hate babies its just the responsibility of taking care of another person is extremely huge. At your young age its difficult to be a mother. Pregnancy can take a huge toll on your still developing body. Think of stretch marks, sagging breasts, complications due to cesarean surgery and etc. Those are only the physical aspects. You have yet to consider your child's needs. Your baby will need a lot of money just for the diapers, food, and most costly of all, education. On top of that the constant worrying about your child 24/7 for the rest of your life. Since you are still young, you will have to juggle between working and taking care of your baby. That itself is stressful as well. Think of all this and if you can handle the responsibilities as a mature grown up woman, then by all means have your baby. If you can't you'll end up miserable. Yes we do have our maternal instincts kicking in from time to time but choose your decision wisely not only for yourself but also for your boyfriend and your future child.

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