A
female
age
30-35,
*iranda8
writes:I've met this guy online about 5 months ago and he was very sweet and caring. He's a couple years older than me and although we've never met he tells me he has very strong feelings for me. He lives in New York though and i live in Arizona. Its very far away from each other. In the beginning everything was going great and we loved talking to each other but recently we've been fighting a lot and most of the time its over stupid stuff. He's in college and I'm still in high school but he says I'm the only girl for him and that he doesnt care about the other girls, only me. He's been getting mad at me recently when i go out with my friends to a party and things like that or if i wear something "inappropriate" like a short skirt. I think he's afraid im going to do something with another guy and he doesnt want that because he "loves me" and "cares about me." Theres a lot more to it but i just dont know what to do anymore. I have feelings for him and want to be with him but I dont know if i can do it when hes soo far away and i will hardly get to ever see him.. what should i do?
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female
reader, followtheblackrabbit  +, writes (25 April 2011):
 Honestly hon, I have a bad feeling about this guy. If I may ask, how much older than you is he? I agree with Blonde30s-he sounds controlling. You see, one method a controller uses is to 1-tell you that you're being "bad" or in this "inapropriate" when you do something he does not like or you go against his wishes. Then, he explains it as he's just taking care of you and looking out for you...I can go on and on. But, in any case that distance ia bit immense. You have your whole life ahead of you. You're finishing up high school and he's already in college. At this stage, there should be someone close to your age, someone who can take you to prom, someone who can sit beside you at the movies, someone who can hold your hand, and lastly, someone who'll be ready to help you at a moment's notice. By first bf was LDR and you know, it is still a special experience for me...but, IMO there's just too much you miss out on...all the little things, the little memories that make a relationship special. Ok this may be a bit silly, but I'll give you a link to a song that explains what I mean lol It captures those physical, real moments when couples start really caring for each otherhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ncI1ZJJIUzU
A
female
reader, mystiquek + ♥, writes (25 April 2011):
 A LDR is very difficult to maintain, even under the best of circumstances. Given your age, its not really a wise decision to stay in one. You are limiting your dating possibilities. Its no fun staying at home waiting for an email or a phone call when all of your friends are out! Also, the guy sounds VERY controlling and that's a red flag that you don't want to ignore. I think you would be much happier if you opened up your dating possibilities and he remained an online friend, not boyfriend.
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A
female
reader, hannah76  +, writes (25 April 2011):
 Hello, He sounds very controlling and I see red flags in your situation. You haven't met OK? So you would both have an immpression built upon from phones, texts and internet. So you simply "cannot" know eachother or love eachother the way being with someone entails. But he trys to tell you what NOT to wear!! I don't like that and it reeks of control. If you like or want to wear short skirts or heels or tights or pants then it is your choice and your choice alone. Please reflect on this before you commit deeply with this guy. Hannah.
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A
female
reader, Anonymous711  +, writes (25 April 2011):
I think he just worries because he is not there and doesnt want to lose you. If you really love eachover you will make this work. Its up to you, how you feel for him. Only you can make this desicion, listen to your heart. best of luck anonymous711 :)
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