A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My Girlfriend and I broke up after over 2 years. We have had our issues in the past and none have lasted this long. This has been the longest and after 3 weeks she wanted to take it slow. I pushed when I shouldn't have and it made us fall apart. She told me it was done and there was no fixing it. I left her alone for 2 days and she put up status' about how she was confused. The next night I was drunk and she wanted something from me right away. I said some stuff out of line and she said she felt like she was trapped and I would hurt her. Over the next few days I continued to apologize and at first she had an attitude and told me to leave her alone and let go. I told her I was going away for a bit and wouldn't elaborate. She would do things to get to me on facebook. It would work at first but that was it. So most recently I said something while drunk to her and she ignored it until she was away from her friends. I was asleep by now and didn't answer. The next morning she starts with me. I told her I didn't feel it was the end of us and she never denied it. After a few minutes she got angry and revolted to the reason we broke up. She than asked me why it was so hard for me to understand that we were done. I told her because I didn't feel as if we were. She told me to deal with it and I told her if it is easy for her to let go, and sleep at night she must have done the right thing, and I will always love her. I didn't say anything to her. Later that afternoon I was with a friend and I saw her driving with her family. She had a pissed off look on her face and so did her family (she didn't see me). I know she told me recently she has been taking our fight out on everyone else so I am assuming that was the case. At this point I have decided to leave it alone. Her parents are divorced and she won't tell her father that we are done. I told her to tell him if she was 100% sure and she has yet to. We have barely spoken recently and I told her may days off I was leaving the state for awhile. The day I was supposed to leave she called wanting to know where I was going. I wouldn't tell her, however she told me that if there was an emergency she needed to know how to find me. I finally told her the truth which angered her more. Is it time to move on and file so I get my rights to my son, or is it not over yet? I love her with my heart and know something else is getting to her lately. Will time really fix us
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (24 July 2012):
 You say you do not want to push her away but without you realising that is exactly what you are doing here. You keep at her to give you another chance and you will change, but she has made her mind up that you are both over, and yes I am sure she is hurting over the loss of the relationship but she does not want to continue it and she has told you why. You need to stop asking her for another chance you need to now start accepting that it is over, trying to be her friend is not going to work, you will never get over her that way. You need to accept it is over and put space between the both of you so you can both get used to single life again, also in this post you don't mention much about your son, I know you are going through a hard time at the moment but please do not allow this to effect your son and the quality time you spend with him.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your response. After I posted a local town had a major accident involving a child. So I called her and she acted like all was ok with us. Obviously it wasn't them. So later that night she would do little things like she has in the past to make me wonder. So I asked her to be honest with me about her feelings and if she is really over me or met someone or what her deal was. She responded to me when she woke up and said there was nobody else. I asked if we could talk on the phone for 2 minutes so I can get some closure to move on and she told me no. I told her that I want to be a better person for her and not get mad at little things anymore. I don't want to fight and she told that I treated her like crap for 2 years and started name some of the stuff that just build up. I told her that I wanted to start over and I asked if she was really ok with this or just keeping busy. She refused to answer and just told me that she cant forget the past and continued to name things I did wrong. She then told me that she doesn't trust me and thinks I am the biggest liar. She obviously started to get mad. I told her that I wanted us to be different and she said for now they would but they would go back to the way they were. She told me she can't put the past behind her and she is glad I learned my lesson. She then went on to dwell over the recent things which caused our break up. A few weeks ago she wanted to take things slow with me and I wouldn't have it. Which I told her now it was for the best because I didn't want to be in that situation again. She told me she gave me a chance and I didnt want it so it was my loss. She had my cell phone account password and she went to check it. I changed it when she said she wanted nothing to do wiht me. She got mad that I changed it and thought I was hiding something. I changed it back so she could check up on me. She continued with the anger and I told her that I wanted to build a friendship with her and show her that I am different. I have asked her to come over tonight to talk about things and she has yet to answer. I know the real her is hurting, but shes putting up a front and she is just angry. I don't want to push her away, that is why I am trying trying to be a friend and show her.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (24 July 2012):
I cannot tell you if things will work out between the both of you. I know that you are finding it hard to let go of the relationship and you are refusing to accept that the relationship is over, but if she tells you it is then you need to just take her word for it and accept it. I know it will be difficult for you but sometimes these things are for the best.
As for your son, is there a reason you need to file for your rights? Has she been stopping you from seeing him? If she has well then you need to talk to her about this, as it is not fair on your son, you still should have access to spending quality time with him. You need to talk to her about this, and see if between the both of you, you can both come up with a plan for shared custody.
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