A
female
age
30-35,
*ouandmeforever
writes:Ok so i've been with my boyfriend for almost 4 months and everything is wonderful. The only problem is he doesn't want me to have anything to do with my ex because of what happened in mine and my exs past. It was an semi abusive relationship. he only hit me once but the rest of it was just verbal. but its in the past and my ex and i have gotten over it. but i guess my boyfriend does it because he loves me and is doing it for my safety does this seem reasonable to everyone. i see where he's coming from and i'm will to do what it takes to make the relationship with my boyfriend work even if it mean losing all contact with my ex which doesnt bother me at all. can someone just tell me if this is reasonable.
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female
reader, youandmeforever +, writes (6 July 2011):
youandmeforever is verified as being by the original poster of the question i just want to say thanks for everyones advice and let you all know that i have cut off complete communication with my ex. he calls daily and i have not answered. amd ive deleted the number and him off of facebook
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (28 June 2011):
 totally reasonable unless you have children together..
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2011): Yeah it's reasonable. Count yourself lucky OP, if that was me I would have run a mile from you knowing you were still in contact with an abusive ex.A word of warning OP, if you cut contact it has to be complete. If he finds out you hung out with this ex or even exchanged texts or phone calls then he'll lose all his trust and will be gone.
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A
male
reader, serenity80  +, writes (28 June 2011):
Good lord. Your boyfriend probably thinks the world of you, and there you are thinking it is acceptable to stay friendly with someone that has abused you. You need to take a good look at yourself, and why you think it's fine to accept such bad treatment from someone and then let the past jepadise a new and promising relationship. Move on with your life, put the past in the past and move on and allow your current relationship to grow.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (28 June 2011):
 Of course it's reasonable, pardon me, but the one who is not reasonable seems to be you. Why do you want to keep in touch with your ex, to begin with- surely not because of his lovable personality. Why did you get over him hitting you, that's pretty serious, I don't say you have to hate him for the rest of your life, in fact it's great that you've found it in your heart to forgive him, but forgiving him in your heart does not mean that you have to be buddies now, no further social contact is required with people who has beaten you up in the past. Then, why is this even an issue at all, since you say yourself that you losing contact with your ex would not bother you at al.
If it does not bother you- just cut contacts.
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A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (28 June 2011):
 I dont really understand why this is even a problem? You have an abusive ex, and a lovely new boyfriend - why wouldnt you cut contact with the ex? He was a jerk, he hit you - there is no reason to stay in touch with a guy like that! Of course it is reasonable to cut contact with the ex, staying friends with an ex is a bad idea in most cases anyway.
All your boyfriend wants is for you to get this jerk out of your life once and for all, you should have cut contact when you broke up with your ex by yourself, your boyfriend will just be as baffled as I am why you would want to keep someone like that in your life!
What he is suggesting is more than reaonable, it is a very good idea and you should have done it as soon as you broke up with him, it should not have taken you this long to get him out of your life.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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