A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am married and divorced but my family has arranged for second marriage. He wants my virginity back, he said it is possible you can go operate, it is possible?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2009): I've met a lot of people who seemed to be unfortunately sucked into troubled relationships. However, I must say that i think almost all of the time, men or women get into these incompatible and totally stupid relationships simply because of their own stupid decisions or failure to make the right decisions. Strangely, the supposedly most intelligent species has a lot of dumbness in its ranks...
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2009): Virginity CAN'T be *restored* via operation, just a piece of flesh... it's really stupid to think otherwise.
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A
female
reader, flicka23  +, writes (20 February 2009):
 I have a hindu background and I know that there are many man who still sees virginity as an important factor for marriage as if it is a qualification. In your case, I don't understand why he wants you to have your hymen back, you are a divorced lady after all, it sounds stupid. Maybe he is asking you this just to satisfy his man's ego and what about him, is he a virgin?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2009): I know this is common practice in India, but I would seriously consider telling your husband that it is unacceptable. He already knows you have been with another man, what difference does a little flap of skin make? This stuff makes me so angry!
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (19 February 2009):
 Does he honestly think that a pricey surgery will bring back your virginity? Magically erase your last sexual partner? This man sounds a little delusional to me, and definitely selfish. The surgery will only bring back your hymen, just another body part. It will never recapture your virginity.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (19 February 2009):
 I'm a bit confused as to what he's looking for from you. Does he mean that he wants you to have an operation to rebuild a hymen, so that he can 'break' it again? Or does he somehow think that your vagina needs to be made 'tighter'?
If it is the first, um, I think he's being unbelievably selfish. Your hymen is gone, if you've had intercourse with your first husband. I don't see why you should undergo the risks of surgery so that he can break the results of that surgery? It makes no sense other than somehow feeding his ego.
If it is the 'tight' concern, why wouldn't he wait until you two have had intercourse? Why would he assume something like that? It's truly ignorant to assume a woman has somehow become too 'loose' just because she had been married.
Look, any surgery carries risks, there can be reactions to anesthesia, you can get an infection at the surgical site. I think it's unreasonable for someone to ask you to take these risks for the sake of his ego. Perhaps your parents should reconsider their selection of this man if he is willing to let you undergo surgery so that he can cause you the pain of breaking your hymen again. Um, that just gives me grave doubts about him.
Perhaps there is a good man for you who will have more understanding and care for your health and well-being.
But to answer your question, I believe that there are ways to reconstruct the hymen and there are other things that a plastic surgeon could do. I think the best thing would be to make an appointment to discuss it with a doctor, if you are willing to go through with this.
Good luck.
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A
male
reader, anoms  +, writes (19 February 2009):
 i have heard about a cosmetic surgeon offering this in california i think (where else lol) they somehow close the hymen back up, its probably pricy as theres not many people offering this kind of work, good luck.
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A
male
reader, Dr Vendetta +, writes (19 February 2009):
 women will usually have a "vagina" tuck if they've had a baby or want things a little tighter down there... virginity... no, virginity is a once in a life time thing when it comes to that stuff.your soon to be husband is deluded.however having a face lift for your cooch isn't cheap. if he is willing to pay for it.. then sure go for it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2009): I've also seen the documentary on TV about restoring the hymen, but I can't really see the point of having any such surgery if you've already been married once. I could understand you wanting to go through such a procedure if you were marrying for the first time, previously had sex and your future mother-in-law wanted to check for blood on the bedsheets, but you're not. You can't lose your virginity twice.
Old Chinese proverb: Virginity like balloon - one prick, all gone.
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A
female
reader, Annieapple +, writes (19 February 2009):
You can have an operation to have your hymen replaced but you won't be a virgin. You will stiall have had sex. If your fiance knows that you have been married before then surely he must realise that you aren't a virgin. I think you should tell him to f off, why should you go through the pain of a pointless operation. If he can't accept that then I suggest finding someone who has a bit more respect for you and accepts you as you are.
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A
male
reader, gumbbo +, writes (19 February 2009):
yes i've seen a documentary about it, it's getting really popular. Look up cosmetic surgery clinics in your area
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A
male
reader, Kepi +, writes (19 February 2009):
 I have heard about surgery to restore a womans virginity, generally I believe its carried out in the Arab states, a simple google search has brought this page: http://www.wellnesskliniek.com/E_plastic_surgery/E_hymen_repair.htm
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