A
male
age
36-40,
*martman
writes:Ok here is the situation,I am visually turned on by females, and always have been. Thats important because the next part of what im about to say hinges off that fact. Porn as a whole has never done anything for me. I have always been more of a thinker/daydreamer and the closest thing that comes close is some good erotica. I have been constantly made fun of teased and harassed by other guys (im in a job where guys are the majority of the employment. So my question is this, am i truly unique in the fact that I have no interest in porn, don't really care about watching it and that it doesn't turn me on?I am tired of hearing snide comments about how its a natural thing and that i just need to watch it and jerk off. I know what turns me on and what doesnt.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2010): Truthfully I think the guys at your work who make fun of you because they are jealous of you. Although they'll never admit it, they secretly want to be more like you, and cutting you down is just their way of trying to feel better about themselves.
Also look on the bright side. Even though there are/will be many men who will make fun of you, there will also be plenty of women who will appreciate your not using porn. Take this website for example, there are soooo many women on here complaining about their boyfriends/fiances/husbands watching porn, think how happy they would be to have a man like you!
A
male
reader, mrvhappy  +, writes (14 October 2010):
Hi there,
I am 100% with you on this one & was about to post a similar comment until i saw your post.
I dont like porn either. I have seen some in the past (@ stag nites and strip clubs which I hated going to but had to due to a valued Clients insistence :( )
I too found it unrealistic/boring and a total turn off..couldnt wait to get out of the places.
I guess I would rather be making love to my lady than watch 2 plastic "actors" groaning on a set.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2010): My hats off to you, I wish there were more of you around :)
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A
female
reader, followtheblackrabbit  +, writes (14 October 2010):
 Well, tell those guys you prefer the real thing, real women. Fake chicks don't do it for you :p You can't imagine how many women would LOVE that quality in their significant others. I don't know some why men feel that watching porn makes them more manly or "normal." Sounds like a bunch of bs to me. You like what you like and that's it. Keep up your individuality!
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (14 October 2010):
 You are not the only nor are you weird. I think it's really sad how much pressure a lot of guys are under to like it/watch it. Somewhere between 25 and 30% of guys never watch/don't like it, and most women wish that number was a lot higher.
The next time those jerks bug you about it and try to dictate how you need to masturbate remind them that one study found that on average women were 20% more attracted to a guy when they found out he didn't use porn, and that men who don't use porn had more frequent and more satisfying sex. Why don't they publish that around more?
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A
female
reader, blahblahblahh +, writes (14 October 2010):
 Porn isn't natural, sex with real women is natural! And no not all men like it. Porn has just become what people consider the norm. The media brainwashes into what's hot and what's not, what's normal and what's not. It's good that there are men with their own minds. To be honest, a lot of women think that men who have to look at porn whilst in relationships are losers.
Be proud of it, you're much more likely to have a sucessful relationship, and women are more likely to want to be with you. Porn is a major turn off for me, and it is for many other women. So I say good for you.
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A
female
reader, GSDfan  +, writes (14 October 2010):
 Geez i wish there were more men like YOU around! guys who are into porn are such a turn off for me!
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (14 October 2010):
 I am glad you posted ,because it sort of answers a doubt of mine.
I had 3 important,very LT relationships. Two of the men were totally uninterested in porn and the third only marginally , really
once-in-a-blue-moon watched amateur porn.
One of the guys was perhaps just a tad shy , but the other two had very sensual and sexual natures. They all said that there is nothing that compares to the real thing. It's like reading kitchen recipes and actually eating a good meal- all another level of satisfaction.
Since when I am on Dear Cupid and I read every day posts from people having problem with their ,or their mates', porn obsession, I wondered how come I had met the only three ( well, 2 and 3/4 )freaks on the planet who are not into porn.
I am glad there is a 4th :)- and much probably there are thousands of others , it's just they don't say it because
for some weird reason porn watching is seen as a mandatory sign of "true virility " .
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A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (14 October 2010):
 I would just like to stress how utterly uneducated their statements were when they tried to tell you that watching pornography is 'natural'. Far from it.
It is not a right of passage into manhood, it is not a requirement, it is not a privilige, it is nothing you need, nor should you want. People will continually try to tell you that watching it is necessary or even healthy! Ignore them. If someone offered you drugs, you would not say yes because sure, you feel happy or good but in the long run, you just destroyed yourself. It is exactly the same thing, it carries with it, the same risks. Be glad that you are who you are.
I hope that helps.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2010): First of all, there is absolutely nothing wrong with you whatsoever. In fact, I applaud you for having the guts to know what turns you on and what doesn't, and sticking to it!
I do entirely see your point that there's a joyless predictability to a lot of pornography, a kind of by-the-numbers generic quality that isn't actually very sexy. It often involves a couple of truly execrable actors going through a highly rehearsed series of moves with knowing looks at the camera. I suspect that you're just a bit more imaginative than your colleagues. Maybe you like reading good erotica because it's a bit less blatant and more subtle and allows more mental engagement with different scenarios. I also think this might actually make you a better lover in the long run, because you'll be looking to engage the mind as well as the body of the woman you're with - and most girls are going to find that truly sexy.
You're also far from alone. As you are probably aware, there is a lucrative market in erotica (magazines, photography books etc.) that caters to precisely tastes like yours! So don't listen to the snide comments, or the homophobic slurs that I suspect you're getting. You're completely normal, and I think as sexlessintheuk rightly said, most women will like this aspect to your personality very much! Stick to your guns!
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (14 October 2010):
I got bored of porn when I got my first girlfriend - porn is just not the same as the real thing. And I just haven't been bothered by it since. So you're not totally unique. I don't like it either, and since I worked in construction, I got teased too.
But hey, on the plus, women will appreciate it more than you know. You only have to read this site to see how many women do not like their boyfriends watching porn. So you not watching it will be a huge plus. It has been for me. You know what works for you, and that matters. And you have one thing that women will most definitely like about you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2010): No, you are not unique! My boyfriend doesn't care much for porn..he finds it boring and fake (which it is).
He likes to imagine girls he has met and is attracted to when he 'does his thing'. I too find that porn, especially the internet stuff is really quite poor in quality, no decent story line etc. I would rather watch an actual movie with decent love scenes in!
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