A
female
age
30-35,
*armicIllusions
writes:I have this friend, I've liked him for a while. I'm a close friend of his, I'm always there for him.Lately he's been depressed because he crashed his car, has no girl friend, failing some college classes and doesn't really like what he's studying at all. ( suuuucks )Well before all the bad things that have happened, we used to be really close, as in talk all the time. But I've felt things have changed. He knows I like him, its more then obvious but the day I told him he told me he just saw me as a good friend, that he didn't want to lose what we had because I was special to him.But after that conversation we haven't been the same, if anything we've closer. Sometimes he holds my hand or pulls me on top of him and hugs me. We've never done anything other then hug/cuddle or hold hands. But all this is mostly done in private, if I try to hold his hand or hug him other than in private he get's mad at me and just pulls away. I don't understand any more, I honestly don't. He physically gets closer, but when it comes to talking he ignores most of my text. The only times we talk is when he wants to hang out with me. He one day kissed me, but it was joke and I understood it was. He was just really thankful and grabbed my cheeks and kissed me. I don't hold it against him, it was a joke.But I don't know whats going on! To make things run faster and make them a bit more understandable I'll put a list of the things he does that just makes me want to literally, cry.1. He holds my hand2. Sometimes he just randomly stares into my eyes or just keeps staring at me.3. He pulls me on top of him to cuddle him and he wraps his arms around me.4. When he leaves, most of the times he kisses my hand.5. Sometimes when I'm stroking his cheek he moves his head and licks my hand.6. He strokes my face or hair.7. Usually, when we cuddle he just takes a light nap.8. When I have to leave, he just closes his eyes, ignores me and pulls me back into his arms.9. He loves to lay on my lap.Can someone please tell me whats going on? Because I'm scared of falling for him deeper if he's going to hurt me. What's going on?!?!?
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (5 November 2011):
 You need to talk to him about his behaviour and tell him that it is confusing you. He see's you as a friend well that was his story anyway when you told him how you feel, he is either trying to hold back or else he is using you to feel close to someone without actually wanting to be romantically involved with you. You need to talk to him and tell him it is confusing you and making you fall for him deeper. My guess is he loves you as a friend but just doesn't have romantic feelings for you but he enjoys the closeness because he does not have a girlfriend. I fear you are going to get hurt if you keep this up
A
male
reader, Daniel the love doctor  +, writes (5 November 2011):
 Well you definitely need to talk with him about this. Not only is he giving you mixed signals, but you're falling for him even more. To avoid anyone's feelings of being hurt, it is necessary that you two communicate- and "keep your distance", sort of speak, in private and in public. So no holding hands, no kissing, no cuddling, etc. Because if it continues, things may not end well for your friendship.
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