A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ive been with my partner for over a year now hes lovely with me treats me is nice to me compliments me..and we are moving in togerher the only thing is he has a nasty ex...who has stopped him seeing his daughter....I recently found browser history saying hed been looking at past photos ov his ex n dat he also has mental health and had searched for apartments that support thus..does this mean he dosent wanna move in with me n does he wish he was back with her...
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female
reader, Queenie2015 +, writes (23 September 2015):
 HelloThe only person who can answer your questions is him. Do you know that he has mental health problems - or was he researching mental health problems. Were the pictures of just his ex or was his daughter in the pictures too? If his daughter was in the pictures I would assume that he was looking through them for that reason. I wouldn't suggest having it out with him - as you have looked through his web history and seems as if you don't trust him at the moment. Has he ever done anything to make you feel like you can't trust him? If not then I would just see where things go, a year isn't a very long time to get to know someone. My partner and I have been together for nearly seven years and I'm still learning things about him. You do have to understand though that he is forever linked to this woman because he has a child with her - whether he or his ex likes it or not. P.S - has she legally stopped him seeing his child? If not I would advise him to seek legal action for visitation rights. He has the right to do this is he is on the birth certificate of the child.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2015): well tough question because you have surmised rather a lot from browser history.His ex may not be as nasty as you think because you werent there at the time they got together and you dont know what the fallout as about,nor do you know the extent of his health problems or how deeply he is affected by them.What you do know is that you get on well together and he treats you nicely,but also that he has a child from a previous relationship.In this case it is natural he would want to follow up on tbe ex so that he knows how she and the child are doing.Perhaps he should be seeing a solicitor for visitation rights as this would be a logical step and also paying some money towards the childs upkeep.If he has doubts about the childs paternigy he could request a DNA test as that is the usual excuse for non payment of maintenance.So i would say that you have quite a long way to go before you and this boyfriend are ready to mve forward andin this case you need to think very clearly what you want out of life and especially how you want to move forwards as his first relationship has clearly backfired in his face and he has had a lot of trouble comng to terms with it and may still need some future professional support.I would say that you are light at the end of a very long tunnel for him,but he may feel he is just not capable alone and may fear a relapse if things dont work out, so i would advise you to tread very cautiously regarding future plans and steps forward because it may be enough for him to just rest on a plateau of acceptance with you without going further for now and dont brow beat him about yhe ex.Just have as much fun as you both can manage as he tries to repair his damaged osyche and figure out what he is capable of in life.Dont neglect yourself of course but move forward slowly and maybe dont push the living together thing as it makes the financial assessment more confusing.
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