A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm 18 and my girlfriend is 16 her mother let me live in their household and she knew we were having sex... some issues happened and I moved out. Also her mother will not let us see each other anymore.... and we love each other.... but the real problem is that she might be pregnant.. is it her choice 2 keep the baby or her mom's?
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be pregnant, might be pregnant, moved out Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2008): its her choice,and her mom should support her decision,and so should you
A
female
reader, xapathyxrebornx  +, writes (18 March 2008):
 it should be BOTH of YOUR decisions her mother should support her but be prepared her mother will pressure her. x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2008): well if you are 18 and your girlfrined is 16 then it is better if you end the relationship you have made a big mistake but if your girlfrned is pregnant then the best thing for her to do is to have an abortion or to keep it but it is up to her.
thanks michele leonard
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2008): Her mother can't force her to get rid of the baby. She could pressurize her in to it but ther is nothing legal she could do to actually force her. TYour girl could consider going to her doctor to talk this through and to your equivalent of social services to see what help would be available. If you plan to stand by her that may help. I was forced to stop seeing my boyfriend who was my first love and we have just got back together after 30 years. Still adore each other. These first relationships have a power and potential that ought to be respected by people. My Mum now feels awful because she had decided he was not good for me that that the relationship was too intense. I had two divorces and was never really happy after that. Now she sees what a good man he is............I know a girl (now a woman)whose Mum forced her to have an abortion and she never got pregnant again. She had to adopt. It was not because the operation went wrong, she just never conceived again. Getting pregnant is something that people may take for granted too much. My Aunt also got preganat out of wedlock and my grandmother forced her to have an abortion. She had an ectopic pregnancy later but never managed to have her own child.Your girlfriend would have to be very self-confident and assertive to get past her mother, which I hope she does do as it would be best for everyone including her Mum. Her Mum does not know yet but one day she will feel the full guilt of knowing that she destroyed the life of one of her grandchildren. She may think that she is tidying up if she forces this to happen, but if she does she is kidding herself and it will cause her enormous pain at some future date.I hope for all your sakes that you can influence the outcome. Good luck, this is no small matter, whatever happens will influence all your lives well enormously and forever. If she is pregnant. If she is not, keep fighting for her and one day you will win through.
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A
female
reader, blueykisses +, writes (18 March 2008):
be careful with what state you live in becasue of your age in california the state files the charges for you sleeping with her but you should get legal advise and maybe try to talk to her mother but find out if she is pregnant frist
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A
female
reader, Devilish Angel +, writes (18 March 2008):
 I'm pretty sure it's the girl's decision.
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (18 March 2008):
 I believe it's the girls choice. You may also place your name on the paternity website which notifies you of any actions you may not be aware of. Father rights are recognized more now than before, and being an adult, you're entitled those rights.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (18 March 2008):
 I think she is too young to decide for herself unless she is a very headstrong girl .
She would most probably follow her mother's decisions.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (18 March 2008):
 Morally, the choice is undeniably your girl's, as it is her own child she is expecting. Legally, I don't know, as I don't live in the US. In practice, however, the mother will have a lot of influence on what happens. I don't know if the mother's influence would be positive or negative. But you would need to include the mother in the issue, because you're both too young.
There are many issues here, beyond your loving each other. I think an important part of whatever happens is what you, the potential father, will do. If you are 1) in a position of becoming responsible, and 2) willing (which you seem to be), then perhaps you could manage to keep the baby.
And I see this issue as way more than this. Suppose the baby isn't born, because either your girl or her mother decide against it. Will you stay committed to her?
I assume you're living elsewhere. Have you thought about where to live with the baby?
Fathering a child isn't easy. If the baby is born, you need to make sure you will be a good father. Nobody knows how to be one until a baby is there and you have to look after him. But wanting to be a father helps you be one.
It's your son, too. I suppose you should have something to say in this regard, provided your girlfriend wants to keep the baby.
I like the fact that, for once, I hear about a young man who isn't running away and wants to keep the baby. I have seen cases of girls devastated because their "loving boyfriends" didn't do what you want to do. Whatever happens, good young man, my hat is off to you a million times.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2008): I would get a lawyer yes she is a minor and that might effect the gaurdenship of the baby but you are 18 an adult and may be entitled to some rights.I know you are consurned about being an adult and her a minor but if her parents gave you permission to date and even live in thier house I think with a lawyer your off the hook.
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