A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Do you think my relationship is healthy?Im in love with 2 men and they both know.I fist fell in love with (will call him Guy) Guy is 10 years older then me, I honestly dont care about that, the issue is he does humantarian work in Africa and we dont have much contact anymore. He calls when he cans and come home for short amounts of time but its still bad. I started talking to his Uncle GJ who is basically the same person as Guy, insept for the age difference, their simularites are amazing. Anyway they are very close, and were always okay with the idea of me belonging to both of them. I was very reluctant at first telling them they were crazy and that my heart could only belong to one man but when Guy left for work I started falling for GJ..Now I love them both and they seem to be okay with it, in fact very happy with the whole concept. But is it healthy for me?
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female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (24 January 2008):
 It is like a man who marries two wives and they all get along well. What is wrong if a woman can find two men and they all get along fine? The men can come and go and they like this arrangement.Who are we to say it is wrong or somebody will get hurt?
People may give their judgments but they do not see the complete picture or they do not delve deeper .
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2008): UPDATE I did not have a threesome fling-thing(both men are way to shy to even think about being naked near eachother even if they say it might happen some day i seriosly doubt it) as I think some people have come to in their own conclusions. Guy and GJ are great freinds, And honestly if you met one the first day and then the other the next you would think its the same peson and they know this and embrace it
-I am not finding a replacemnt for Guy, he comes home when he can, and we have talked of marriage when his work is done. GJ Understand that both me and Guy are younger and accpets the fact that I want Guy as my life partner. I think this hurts him though and i Have discussed it with him and he says it doesnt...
-As for using me for sex... i think not... i have had sex with both... not at the same time... Guy and GJ could live life without sex... Im the one who insists on the sex matter. I even got the nickname of Venus. Yep im their sex goddesses. XD Of course i do look like the statues ive been told that by lots of people.. but whatevers maybe I am Like Venus . . would explain my relationship with two men. LOl
Laura1318, hlskitten, and Jmo I apprediate what you had to say, I didn't find it offensive (who gives advice by cursing and comparing the relationship to Jerry Springer, thats diffenatley helpful to hurt someones feelings) But i listen to what you had to say and you made me feel a bit beter about my situation
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A
female
reader, Laura1318 +, writes (24 January 2008):
If they are OK and you are OK .I don't see why it is not OK ?
Today you may walk with one or both and tomorrow , who knows what will happen. Since the men are on good terms, you are a very lucky woman.
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A
female
reader, hlskitten  +, writes (23 January 2008):
 How bizarre! Never heard anything like it. I think its possibly innevitable that someone will get hurt eventually. Threes a crowd n all that jaz.
I dont know, i cant see it working long term.
I feel for you, must be a nightmare loving 2 people.
Maybe its possible you love them both as friends?
Tricky one.
Sorry not much help there.
Good luck!
C xxxxx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2008): Um, no..and they obviously don't give 2 sh*ts about you either if they actually like sharing you. To me, all that says is that they both are using you for sex. If one of them cared about you they wouldn't want to share you with anyone else, let alone a close family member. Can you say Jerry Springer??
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2008): If you're doubting if it's healthy for you, then surely it isnt? Everyone's heart is destined to belong to one person, no matter how much their heart is scarred by people along the way. All everyone is looking for is someone who loves them back just as much as they love them.
I think loving 2 guys isn't possible. It's NOT healthy, and it isnt right - no matter how happy they seem with it. You're finding a replacement for Guy when he's in Africa, and you shouldn't really be doing this.
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A
female
reader, maria14r +, writes (23 January 2008):
well to me if you want that then you go for it. they are ok with it then good but what are you going to do if Guy comes back? are you still going to be with both?
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A
female
reader, Jmo +, writes (23 January 2008):
 You're in trouble. Sadly, as exiting and flattering as this is now, it is guaranteed to end badly. Someone WILL get their feelings hurt. Hell, maybe everyone will it's hard to tell. Sorry for telling you what I'm sure you didn't want to hear, but I'm suggesting this from personal experience (admittedly on more than one occasion) and from observing others in the same dilemmas while I was in college. Unfortunately, now you have to deal with your options. You can continue to do what you're doing and let whatever happen, happen. You can chose on and risk Guy and GJ's relationship with each other. You could focus your energy on GJ while still staying in contact with Guy and figure things out when he comes back from Africa. The possibilities are endless. I guess the best advice I can give you is to asses your priorities and remember that in the matters of the heart, you're always taking a risk. Good luck. -Jmo
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