A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have completely and utterly fallen for someone that I can't have. I know it's stupid. And it's 99.9% definite i can't have him. he's my ex's best friend and he's not looking for a relationship at all. even if he was he wouldn't ever go for me because he's too loyal to hurt his mate. but i completely and utterly adore him. he's my best friend in the world. i only realised how much i care about him after 2 years of knowing him. i would literally walk through fire for him, i can't imagine being without him. i really do love him to pieces. what do i do to stop feeling like this before it makes our friendship awkward?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2008): Thanks so much everyone, was great to hear what you all think about this. After hearing your thoughts, I'm much clearer on this. I will definitely give it some time and spend time focusing on me. Now I've heard what you all think, I have a bit more confidence about what to do afterwards rather than just writing him off completely as an impossible relationship. I might approach it very carefully by spending more time with him and seeing how he responds, but only after I've spend a lot of time on myself and had time to really think things through. Thank you so much! I'll let you know what happens in the end! x
A
male
reader, chlez83  +, writes (23 January 2008):
If i took my personal experience,i'd seriously discourage you coz my i'm just breaking up with someone who was best friends with one of my ex and she cheated on me just like her friend (my ex).You have to really look at why your friend broke up with him and see if you won't end up in da same situation.This means talking to your friend and understanding what happened.He's not completely out of bounds but you have to tread carefully.
All the best.
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A
female
reader, Sams_WonderWoman +, writes (23 January 2008):
 First of all take time out for you. Get a new hairstyle,a new hair color, some new clothes, just take time out for you. Just don't make it obvious to him that you are hopelessly in love with him and ready to jump his bones. That could scare him off, and you don't want that.
He might have feelings for you, but is afraid to show them because of his friend, and he feels awkward about the situation. Just don't jump the gun and tell him your feelings yet. Let him come to you first. If you are going crazy with all these feelings, just take your situation to God in prayer. I always say a prayer to the Lord about my situation, and He always comes through for me!!
Let us all know what has happens, ok?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2008): Well I was sort of in your situation a few years ago with my ex. I was going out with this guy and I completely couldn't stand his best friend. But after we broke up, his best friend told me how he felt about me and he told his friend how he felt about which made things easier then when we did get together a few weeks after that. We are together for 8 years, engaged to married now and all so it does often work out.
I think if you tell your ex's best friend how you feel & if he feels the same way - explain to your ex then the situation. I'm sure he'll understand.
Best of luck with it all now anyway
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (23 January 2008):
 He is your ex's best friend does not mean that he will see you as your ex. He is a different person and if you don't try , how do you know it is 99.99%?
The males don't think the same as females. If he likes you , there won't be any loyal stuff. He would not care if he is hooked to you.There are many cases where the best friend marries the girl.
If you have tried and he is not interested, then try to remove yourself from his world. Out of sight, out of mind.
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