A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:OK, so my friend and I got into a argument today. He started dating this girl, a real looker.I'm subscribed to his facebook and in the past two months it's like every post is about her. Her photo, stuff she said, places they went. He's my buddy, right, so I'm not gonna unfriend him or nothing, but I made an offhand remark that it would be better if he kept their relationship more private.Especially since I'm single and a bunch of his other friends are too. I mean, it's like who wants to hear all that when your hurting for a woman?He got WAY ticked off when I said that. He was like, dude I'm in love and I want the world to know it. If you were my buddy you'd share in my happiness instead of knocking me down.I was like bro I am NOT knockin you down. I just am saying that maybe you should keep some of that lovey dovey s^^^e tween the two of you.He got even more ticked off and said it makes her happy that I'm so proud that she's my girlfriend. Why can't you be happy for me. And if your not, I'm gonna unfriend you myself.I cut it off then and there. We weren't getting anywhere.So what do you think? Is it charming or tacky to give daily updates about your relationship?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2013): I'm with you all the way, OP. Your friend, and his gf, are both narcissistic drama queens. And him saying "I want to brag to the whole world, why are you knocking me down" and him getting mad at you for that, is just being inconsiderate and more narcissistic.
Your friend isn't the only one. Newly married couples are notorious for doing this. And then once they have kids, every single FB post is about their kids...I cannot tell you how sick I am about having to see/hear/read about someone's baby's poop. That is a big reason I'm no longer on FB. It just degenerated into nonstop "look at me!" over and over again from everyone. So I would suggest that you block your friend right now. that way he can post all he wants, but you don't have to see it.
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (10 June 2013):
 It's Facebook, I can't take that serious at all. Like others suggested hide his newsfeed if it annoys you.
Personally, I find it ridiculous what lame crap people put on FB/Twitter/Tumblr - and thus I deleted my FB - If I want ANYONE to know what's UP with me & my family I send them PERSONAL e-mails.
However, your friend is just happy and sappy. Let him enjoy his lady-love and how he feels.
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A
female
reader, Got Issues  +, writes (10 June 2013):
 Facebook is great for making you feel rubbish about the things you don't have. I know how you feel but you have to remember that he's not trying to rub your nose in it. He just can't relate to how you and your other friends feel right now because he's not single and he doesn't owe it to anyone to pipe down about this girl.
Tell him you're sorry so that there are no hard feelings, and remember this in the future when you meet someone lovely, so that you can be a bit more discreet than he is being right now and a bit more sensitive of how others might be feeling.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi, this is the OP.
Thanks for the advice, yeah I will just shut off his newsfeed. I guess I like to keep tabs on him and the rest of his life which is why i didnt do it before, but yeah this stuff is too much.
dont get me wrong, i am happy for him, but its just over the top with all those posts it just gets me a little jealous because i think he should be a little more considerate of us single folks instead of flaunting every day several times a day.
thanks very much
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2013): It's annoying and screams insecurity, that he has something to prove to everyone - so I say tacky!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2013): I think it's annoying too OP, that, pictures of people's little wailing brats, their ugly little dog they dress up, every item of food they eat, those horrible "life affirming" quotes, there are tonnes of things that people post on Facebook that I hate, so I just either hide them from my news feed or select the "only important updates" option.
It was incredibly rude of you to give him shit over what he posts on his Facebook when you have so much control over what you see on your newsfeed. Guess what, OP? Lots of people are delighted to see him being soppy and stuff, most importantly the woman he is seeing probably thinks it's oh so cute, you know?
OP if you don't like stuff on your news feed then it's up to you to remove that stuff or work the filters better. One of my closest friends posts life affirming quotes all day, and shares pictures of tattooed hunks and muscular black guys too. Frankly I find that stuff annoying, so I set her profile to important updates only. So I did see that it was her kids birthday last week, I also saw her status when she posted her exam results but I get no more "the best way to start your day is by getting up, the people who try to bring you down lose every time" crap on my timeline but I do see when she has important stuff posted. Plus OP you'll find once your news feed is clear of inane crap, going to a person's profile to check on them and see what they're up to is actually fine.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2013): I have a few friends that are like that. On one hand I do see his point that it's his life, he's happy, in love and wants to tell the world. That makes a women feel very special. But on the other hand it can be a bit of an eye roll after a while. However, it's Facebook...just scroll by, nobody says you have to keep looking at all the pics or reading all the statuses. It's no different then someone who posts nothing but quotes/signs, dogs, cats, religious or political rants, etc. Just keep scrolling lol, it's just facebook.
The way you presented it, really does read like there is some jealousy because he found something great and you and your buddies have not, and you did knock him down over it. And he is right about that too...you should be happy for him and you should embrace and support what's going on his his life right now, no differently then if a close relative/friend died, he lost his job, etc. Just like a status or pic once in a while and make a comment here and there, to keep the peace. I really think you should apologize to him. You did say what you were thinking, but it really wasn't necessary because it didn't come from a good place or were helping him out with something he was going to regret posting or what was going to be a problem at the end of the day. Just relax, let it roll and it will all make better sense when you find that special someone too.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2013): I know how you feel. It's annoying to see and when you are single it can be really hurtful and feels like your friend is being insensitive, when actually he's just excited about his relationship and wants everyone to know about it.
He's not going to see it from your point of view, and by bringing it up you are just putting a downer on things. It's not going to help you in the long run, it will just mean that he'll stop confiding in you.
If it bothers you so much, just hide his posts from your newsfeed and stop clicking on his page. It's very easy and that way you won't even know what he's writing, so it will seem as if he isn't writing or posting anything about her.
I used to have Facebook but I deleted my profile because it made me feel bad about myself. It's difficult not to compare your life with others' when they constantly post stuff about their great holidays and great relationships and great jobs. After about 2 days I stopped wondering what people were doing on Facebook and started to get back to the real world. Just a suggestion.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2013): His Facebook page, his rules. If he wants to post pics of his girl then let him do it. You COULD have set your settings to not show up on your feed, but instead you rain down on his parade. You sound bitter and jealous to me.
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A
female
reader, cute angel  +, writes (10 June 2013):
 Dear OP,Everyone has a different way to show express their love to their partner!Some hate PDA but the minute they get some 'alone' time they are in full form! While some other love PDA..you can't really say what's wrong or right and if its tacky or not..it depends on each individual..I personally am not fond of PDA,but my boyfriend doesn't mind..but he knows I'm not comfortable so now he wouldn't do try anything!..And if your friend is really happy with this girl and wants to express his love to the world then let him! Its his life,his facebook account he's allowed to do whatever he likes with it,don't judge him..if you don't want to see his updates try not reading it!he's happy,his girlfriend his happy I don't see anything wrong in this other than the fact that you need to let him do whatever he wishes to and be happy for him as a friend irrespective of you finding his whole display of affection tacky!Good luck
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2013): Well, it doesn't really matter if it's tacky or charming, because he's a good friend of yours who is obviously very happy and in a state of infatuated bliss, and maybe even proud of his relationship. It would have been better to further explain your real feelings to him, that it's hard to look at his relationship all the time because you're feeling lonely and hurting for a relationship yourself. Then he would understand instead of becoming defensive when you told him to keep it private. I would apologize - if sending a message is easier - and explain your feelings, and then quietly "unsee" his posts.In the end, it doesn't matter who's right - whether it's charming or tacky and annoying - it's about your friendship with your bro, and owning up to your own feelings of loneliness, envy, etc. It may be harder to share those feelings as a guy - but explaining them would put your friendship in a better place. You're happy for your good buddy, but at the same time it reminds you of how lonely you are right now. The truth is always the best, instead of making someone feel defensive and hurt because they don't have all the info.
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