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Is it better to date a person you really like, or a person who really likes you?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (16 March 2014) 5 Answers - (Newest, 18 March 2014)
A male United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Hello

My question is more about experiences readers had about " dating a girl you like or date a girl who likes you"

What's better/more fruitful?

Details :

You either persue a person if you have crush on them or you are perused by someone when he/she has a crush on you, what is more fruitful in a long term ?

I know if you are right for each other,it will happen regardless and love finds its course.

Do you think there's a high chance of being happy in a long term relationship when you date a person who is interested in you/crush on you ?(initially you aren't interested) Because they naturally like you and want to make you happy, they always do the extra effort OR after some time the honey moon period gets over and everything is on same levels regardless of the how it started. And the only thing matters is how compatible you arein the end!

What do you suppose ?

View related questions: crush, period

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A male reader, SensitiveBloke United Kingdom +, writes (18 March 2014):

SensitiveBloke agony auntLove needs to go both ways or it won't work. If one person doesn't love the other, the relationship won't work.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2014):

Gahh! I love your question! Have tried so many ways to ask it, but it's been difficult to put to words or make others understand. I don't like relationships that start out unequally eg. a guy really really digs you but you just don't like him THAT much. It makes love seem so pointless and depressing. I personally want to feel really in love with someone before ever knowing how much they like me back. But I DO want them to like me back, just as much, just not FIRST.. I'm strange... Anyway, it also feels a little unrealistic to thing that someday you'll meet someone who really cares for you as equally as you care for them - it will never be equal. It's probs why I still don't have a boyfriend. I don't really want to feel persued - it becomes boring, I want to feel like I really love the person so much I'd fight and do everything in my power just to get them to notice me. Sometimes us humans crave things that make us go crazy - challenges!

So basically, for your hapiness, it'd be great to date someone you've been dying to date for a long time because it'd feel like a great achievement. That is, in the short term. After a while you'd start to realise how unequal the relationship is, and it'd be crushing to know they don't love you, or care about you, or give as much effort towards you as you do them. So find try someone who feels the same... If that is even at all possible.

I don't know if that helps... Just thought I could share.

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A male reader, Sageoldguy1465 United States +, writes (16 March 2014):

Sageoldguy1465 agony auntYour's is a complex question, as written.... HOWEVER, I think that if you substitute the phrase "put out for" for "crush on" then the "answer" to your question becomes more evident....

Good luck....

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (16 March 2014):

Honeypie agony auntI think it would be POINTLESS to date either of your examples.

IF YOU like the girl but she only "tolerate" you - it's not love.

If a girl REALLY like you and YOU "tolerate" her or basically SETTLE for her - it's not love.

I think it's BEST to date someone who is as CRAZY about you as YOU are about them. Nothing short of that will do. Other wise you might as well date a Boxer, Golden Retriever or a goldfish.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2014):

Someone who is really really into you but who you really like as well.

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