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I'm good friends with both of them... do I tell her he cheated?

Tagged as: Cheating, Crushes, Friends, Teenage, Three is a crowd<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (16 March 2014) 6 Answers - (Newest, 17 March 2014)
A male United States age 26-29, anonymous writes:

Hi, my name is Danny and I have this best friend called Charlie (girl).

Me and Charlie have been friends for-EVER! She is the closest thing I have to a sister, as i'm an only child.

I have this band and i'm the lead, so I write songs and most of them are about her. Me and my band are going to enter a battle of the bands and I have this new material but it's all about Charlie and they're kind of love songs.

But Charlie recently got together with my best friend Adam, but I know he's cheated on her! I want to tell her and be her knight in shining armor but if I tell her, Adam will hate me and leave the band and if I don't, Charlie will find out and know that I knew and hate me.

I love Charlie so much, she is my world and I can't think of anything else but her.

I don't want to lose either of them, but I have to make a choice:

What should I do?

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (17 March 2014):

Honeypie agony auntI think you are a little delusional with your feelings towards Charlie, a BROTHER doesn't write love songs about his "sister". That would be... eww..

And you will NOT be the Knight in Shining Armor by telling her, you will be the turd in tinfoil. You know the saying:"

Shooting the messenger" ? If not.... is a metaphoric phrase used to describe the act of lashing out at the (blameless) bearer of bad news.

Adam is your friend and band mate, go talk to him instead. Ask him what's up with the cheating.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2014):

I would let her know one way or another. Maybe confront your friend Adam first. She deserves to know she is being cheated on. I almost thought to say don't tell her because they may break up anyway and then she won't have the pain of knowing he cheated on her- but he could be exposing her to diseases. She deserves to know for sure and then she can realize who to stay away from maybe in the future.. Don't expect anything for yourself, she may not even believe you or she may be upset with you for telling her at first.

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A male reader, CMMP United States +, writes (16 March 2014):

Dude, you're in love with your sister?

Their relationship is not your concern, so stay out of it. Also, she had her chance with you and nothing happened, so telling her he cheated won't make you her Knight in shining armor.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2014):

I'm the first male anon, I've changed my mind a bit, when rereading it is clear that you are into this girl more than just in a sibling way so I don't think you should tell her. It's definitely not a good idea seeing as your intentions aren't clear-cut.

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A female reader, chigirl Norway +, writes (16 March 2014):

chigirl agony auntCharlie. Shes your closest friend, so close shes like family. Besides, Adam cheated, which makes him the bad guy and not someone you want to be friends with.

But dont expect gratitude when you tell Charlie. She might not believe you, or she might believe you but still choose to be with Adam...

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2014):

Don't tell, it's not your place to. Or give adam an ultimatum, saying that you feel like you're ina difficult position because Charlie is your best friend and if you don't tell her about it I will but I want you to do it as I feel that it's right , she deserves that respect.

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