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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I have been with my boyfriend for over 6 months, we both love and respect each other, I want to spend all my time with him and I know he feels the same way. However, recently my best friend from university met someone on holiday. I lived with her for 3 years, it was quite a odd friendship, we trusted each other yes but she was the leader the loud and overtly confident one whereas I was the one in the background. As a group of guys we met in a bar once said, she was the one they’d sleep with, I was the one they were more likely to take home to meet the parents. I had a very close friendship with a guy from home the whole way through uni but our unis were far away so it stayed as a friendship even though we both wanted more we didn’t want to commit to a long distance relationship so instead got to know eachother really well. A few months before we finished uni we finally became a couple and that was over 6 months ago. I am happier than I thought possible, he is not just my boyfriend but my best friend. I believe we have the perfect balance of passion, intimacy, friendship and respect and I trust him completely. However my friend from uni has recently started a new relationship, I have not met the guy yet as its only been a couple of weeks but I have already been ‘blown off’ as I was due to come up and stay with her and a few other friends that she lives with but now she wants to change the weekend as she wants to visit her boyfriend that weekend. When my bf asked me how I felt about this I was honest and said I would accept it one time as it’s a new relationship but will tell her I am not happy it if it happens again. They are both very open about their relationship, pictures of them splashed all over their facebooks, I love you messages, commenting on everything and multiple xxxxxxxxx’s after wards.Now I always thought this type of outward display was not needed in order to show how you felt about someone. My boyfriend is very affectionate, when we are alone it is obvious however in company it is more descrete, holding my hand under the table, his hand on my back as I walk through a door he is holding for me and a kiss on the lips that sort of thing which I love as it makes me feel really special and loved. my bf will still sometimes stop and just look me in the eye and kiss me and I feel like the cliché only girl in the world. But we are not full on declaring our relationship to everyone in public and via facebook. However I find myself slightly jealous of this new relationship of my friends, a small part of me misses the new exciting part of the relationship when things are still new. I love my boyfriend and I know he loves me whether im all dressed up to go out for dinner or its first thing in the morning with bed hair and pjs. Is this normal to feel this way? This is my most serious relationship (we are both 21). Our relationship has evolved and “serious” in the respect we go out with each others friends on couples evening, we have both met each others extended family and I recently attended his dad’s birthday party. Its that settled stage of the relationship which I am loving every minute. Any comments/thoughts? I am not having doubts as to my relationship but would like to hear any comments as to if these feelings aren’t totally weird.
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best friend, facebook, I love you, jealous, long distance, on holiday, university Reply to this Question
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female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (3 October 2011):
 Did you say that your friend and this new guy of hers have only been together for 2 weeks? Something seems kinda off. Two weeks and they're already publicly writing "I love you" messages all over Facebook, and huge "xxxxxx's" and calling each other boyfriend and girlfriend? Two weeks? Get where I'm going with this??
From what you've described, it seems WAY too fast and intense for a healthy relationship to be honest. I understand the fun of new relationships and the excitement of new passion, but this seems forced to me. Don't be jealous in the slightest over this.
You said that when you two would go out, your friend would be the one they take home to sleep with, while you were the one they took to meet their parents. *YOU* are in the enviable position, not her. You have a boyfriend who at 6 months you're enjoying getting to know. You're taking the time to build trust, friendship, passion, and patience. Don't for one second be jealous of this mad wild infatuation, because it's loaded with red flags in itself, especially if she has to blow off friends to be with him. Aren't they together and not long distance from each other, yet she blew off a visit from you who IS long distance right now?
Something seems really off to me. This is off balance, and I'd be strenuously warning her to put on the brakes and slow things down. From "Nice to meet you" to "I love you" in 2 weeks and spraying their territory all over Facebook is pretty unsettling.
A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (3 October 2011):
 I think that's normal. I've been in a great relationship for 2.5 years and I still harass my recently attached friends for exciting stories of their dating lives. The first part of the relationship is the most thrilling and such, but it's not very sustainable!
That said, there are plenty of things you can do to try to bring back the feelings of excitement. The first thing is to make sure you frequently do new exciting things. This can range from trying a new restaurant, to doing something you've always wanted to try but never got around to. Also being spontaneous is always a good thing.
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