A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi aunts and uncles. I wanted to know what your opinion was on this. My new boyfriend of a month has a huge circle of friends and he's pretty well loved by people as the "nice" guy/good guy. Yesterday he told me he spoke to this girl and told her that he had a girlfriend now. Just randomly out of the blue and he started the conversation. The message read "I have a girlfriend now just to let you know, I will understand if you don't want to be friends anymore x". He said they went on one date together and he knows she likes him so he wanted to tell her. She replied to him saying she still wants to be friends with him and offered to help him with his decorating and wants all the gossip etc (friendly conversation)...Would you be concerned by this message to her? Or is this a good sign that he's telling her that he's no longer available ? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (18 October 2017):
 If he is known as a good guy then I am guessing he was just letting her know. If she does like him then friends probably won't work for them both as she will end up hurting. He is setting her right so I would trust him with this one, if she steps to far hopefully he can be blunt enough to remind her that he is with you.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (16 October 2017):
 It is a good sign, insofar he did just the correct thing both toward her and toward you.
If they went on a date , and she has a crush on him, and things were sort of undefined , in the gray area still, and she might legitimately have thought that he was still available and something might develop between them, ues he handled it absolutely right in telling her straight away , rather than in letting her know from third parties or letting her hanging indefinitely.
And he was correct toward you too, in letting your role and presence in his life known to everybody, including his suitors and pursuers.
What is less of a good sign, is HER reply. I am a bit skeptical. Why should she be eager to " stay friends " if she likes him romantically / sexually ? Come on, one can't be just friends to someone one has the hots for. It would be a lopsided and insincere " friendship " , because what one really wants is way more than friendship.
If she means that , belonging to the same circle of friends, she will keep acting civil and cordial in public and at social events- sure !, that's fine , and obvious. But if she wants something more involved, more personal ( like helping him decorating ) then no, your bf should oppose a kind but firm " nolle prosequi" or .. " let's not even go there ". Luckily, from how he acted so far , it sounds likes he knows that , and would be willing and able to do it.
...............................
A
female
reader, Anonymous 123 +, writes (16 October 2017):
 The message on its own is ok, it's a good sign. However, and I'm maybe digging too deep, but if this girl did like him in a romantic way then can she really be just friends with him now? And why would she help with his decorating? What's the need? If I went on a date wth someone I liked and he politely rejects me for someone else, I'm sure it's going to hurt... maybe a little but it will! I wouldn't want any gossip or want to be a part of his personal life unless either I'm THAT detached or I have something more in mind.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2017): Hey, what's better than putting it in writing? She doesn't only want to be friends; she wants to helicopter over your budding relationship. Her offer is only to keep one foot in the door.
I think he has made it pretty much official. It's out there now!
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (16 October 2017):
 I think it's a good sign, honestly.
While she would have heard through the grapevine real fast, he probably felt he was the right thing to do, and I agree. She might have liked him but so far (from the little you saw) it seems like she is OK with him dating someone else.
My guess is he didn't want her or you to think he is hiding YOU and the relationship.
...............................
|
