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Is it a break if we are still talking...or should I take a total break...

Tagged as: Big Questions, Breaking up, The ex-factor, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (31 July 2010) 1 Answers - (Newest, 31 July 2010)
A female United States age 26-29, anonymous writes:

I recently made a post on here...and I received lots of great feedback and thank you all for that. I have one last question and situation to share with you all...I need help because I have been given advice from friends but I need unbiased or neutral opinion from people who are much more experienced. The story is my college boyfriend came to visit me 3 weeks ago and we had a few scuffles. Unfortunately for our relationship he takes these types of scuffles personally and he was hurt. He claimed that he had never seen me so upset (even though I was stressed and felt pressured by his visit only because I wanted to impress him and make him happy and most importantly be a good host). He felt that I was negative and it was a turn off for him because he felt that I was different back at school but the honest truth is I am slightly different at school because I am away from life's stresses at home. At school I focus on work and friends. Anyway, he took 3 weeks to figure out what he wants...he has been hot and cold...nice and mean throughout this time...throwing sarcastic comments my way but I have been tolerant. I feel that the time he was using to be 'upset' he took out on me...as payback...I hate to believe that but he said that he wasn't playing games until one night I told him that I didn't think he was being fair and he broke down saying that this whole thing seems like a game and that hes sorry. He doesn;t know why he can't forgive me for the arguing during his visit to see me ( we live 1,000 miles apart). Last night he asked for a break...without giving any time limit. He wants to still talk...I guess I do too..but friends are telling me that a break is a break and that he can't always have it his way. That I need to give him the break he asked for and that by removing myself from the situation it'll give him more time to think about what he wants. What do I REALLY do? Do I still talk to him? Thanks again.

Yours,

Hurt

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A female reader, Dr.Ski United Kingdom +, writes (31 July 2010):

Your relationship is the usual rollercoaster, has its ups, has its down's. But the most important thing too remember is that if you love them truly, you cant let go. You shouldnt lose interest as soon as that by completely not talking, because at the end of the day that is slowly drifitng you apart. Where as, if you keep your friendship, you relationship will once again feel new! :) x

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