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Is he into me, or is he just being friendly?

Tagged as: Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (8 June 2010) 2 Answers - (Newest, 8 June 2010)
A female United States age 26-29, *rshly writes:

I have not been interested in a guy in over THREE YEARS so I'm a little confused as to how the dating game works.

This is pretty darn detailed, but if you don't mind a story I want YOUR analysis on this guys actions, and if maybe I just have it all wrong.

As for the names I use, my interest will be called F.

I know him through a close guy friend who will be T.

First off, F does not 'seem' like the type to play games. One, in the four years I've known him I've never seen him with a girlfriend. Two, he's absolutely completely socially awkward. He hardly even talks to his guy friends when we all go out. He just sits quietly and laughs here and there.

So a few months ago I spark interest in F. At a party, I start to talk to him more than T, and while he wasn't super talkative with me (figures) I can see him looking behind me at T with a, 'Why on earth is this girl talking to me?' expression. I invite him to my birthday party in a month and he promises to go.

Two weeks later, several of us go out for drinks. I mention my birthday party and F says he made plans to visit family out of town that week. As it gets later, I mention I need to grab a jacket from my car. Normally, T would offer to walk me but he didn't, so I get up leave. As I'm walking away F walks up next to me and says he doesn't want me to walk alone (very out of character). On our way to the car he keeps apologizing for not being able to make it to my birthday, and I joke about how he hates me. He stops in the street and squeezes my hip while telling me that he is really sorry. (he's not a touchy feely person so it caught me off gaurd)

Then the day before my birthday party, T tells me that F came back early and he is going to join us. Unfortunately, that night out was a bit of a bummer, F got sick and left pretty early. Since I don't have F's phone number, and he doesn't use any sort of online communication, we didn't get in contact for another month.

Now, not too long ago, I bumped into him at his work. I told him my girl friend and I were looking for somewhere to get a drink and he said he was on his break and would walk us a few blocks. We ended up walking around for about 20 minutes (my girl friend is such a trooper!) while talking. We ended with agreeing to play some pool soon and exchanged numbers, but I have yet to hear from him.

Even though I'm amazed that he talks to me more than he talks around his friends, I feel like I'm making my flirting obvious with no result.

Does he seem interested (and very shy) or just friendly (with only me)?

View related questions: exchanged numbers, flirt, shy, spark

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A male reader, Hippieman182 United Kingdom +, writes (8 June 2010):

Hippieman182 agony auntShy guys find it hard to make it known they like a las(as i'm an ex shy guy myself lol) maybe you should quietly ask his closest mate if your crush has said anything to him about you? or maybe you should just go for it and ask your crush out on a date?

If both of you are waiting for each other to make a move then nothing will happen and it seems to me that you really like this guy?

good luck :)

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A male reader, TimmD United States +, writes (8 June 2010):

TimmD agony auntFor guys who are shy, it's very difficult for them to show any kind of interest in women. But I think his act of physical contact (squeezing your hips) is a sign that he has an attraction to you. However, because he is shy, you are most likely going to have to be the one who initiates things.

How interested in you is he? Tough to say. But a little bit of a warning, if he continues to be hot and cold even after you initiate things than that's not a good sign. Somebody who is shy will generally shed their shyness with you once a relationship starts, but if they continue to be hot and cold like this even after the relationship starts than it means they've got some other issues going on that you best avoid.

But yes, I'd say he has an interest in you.

Good luck.

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