A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:What is it like having your own family (a spouse, a house, with children and pets, etc). I'm just wondering because I had never really found Mr. Right (I thought I did in the past but you know how it is). Can anyone with what I described clue me in? Is it all it's cracked up to be? or am I just dreaming about the positives? I would LOVE to have my own children and a loving husband and at times I dream about it. No more being told what to do with mom and dad. Don't get me wrong it's not like I don't love my original family, it's just that I sometimes wonder about the other side. And I wonder about the rich people too lol, but that's for a different site? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2015): I heard this expressions once in which a youtube blogger stated that "50% of marriages end in divorce, and the other 50% that stays together make each other miserable by fighting like Palestinians vs Israelis.
A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan  +, writes (9 August 2015):
Well, what is it cracked up to be? If you’re looking for something to make your life a perfect fairy tale where you exist in a state of perpetual happiness and never endure any hardship, no one thing will make that happen, whether it’s wealth or a family. So what is special about a family? Well, at its best, it is a unit in which you are loved and cherished. It comes about when 2 people who love each other seek the joyful experience of raising children together. Being a parent is hard. You always have to change as your kids grow and need you in different ways. You sign up to committing yourself for about 18 years to always putting some-one else and their needs above your own before enduring what can feel like a crushing redundancy when they fly the nest. You will worry and fret constantly. You will want to save them from their mistakes and you will feel their pain when they fall (literally or metaphorically). But you would never resent this because it is nothing compared to the wonderful experience of nurturing a person, teaching them, watching them grow, discover and find their own way in the world, and in return having them love you and be there for you. I think that’s probably a fair description of the best experience that having a family can give you. It isn’t a fairy tale but it is wonderful. Of course, life isn’t always this straightforward and things don’t always work out like that. That is in large part why Dear Cupid exists as a service. But if you read that and think it’s something you’d want, then you’re probably wanting a family for the right reasons. Don’t think of family as something to fill a void, because it’s a way of life. Don’t think too much either about what it’s cracked up to be, because we have to make these choices as individuals and think about what’s right for us. The choice to have a family and the choice not to, both involve difficulties and sacrifices.
I wish you all the very best.
...............................
A
female
reader, WhenCowsAttack +, writes (9 August 2015):
There is no one right answer to that question. Some marriages are happy and content, and some are literal nightmares.
You can't paint things with such a broad brush.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2015): The right person won't fall into your lap unless you set up situations where it could happen.
Family life is all it's cracked up to be when the person truly wants it. It's ridiculously challenging at times, but you'll find that people will still say they wouldn't change it for the world - *if* they've put the necessary work in to make a situation they're happy in.
A great life doesn't just occur - you have to do things to create it.
...............................
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (9 August 2015):
 Getting married should never be just about moving out of the family home, although that's what many people do. You should love your spouse totally. I know the importance of finding Mr. Right. That term had always meant someone who's respectful, obey the laws and has no substance abuses. Today you need more than just that. You need romance, passion, and a want to be part of a family. Life can be exhausting when you have other people to take care of, but at the end of the day you feel it's manageable and worth it.
I know that today, a family man could be too much to ask for but I would not give up on that dream. Rich people are generally happier because they could afford leisurely time and do whatever they want. Some could appear happy with all their material belongings and remain empty spiritually. Still, there is no need to be sour grape about all this. If you want a man you have to go find it, even if it means looking at hundreds of profile online to see who suits you best.
...............................
|
