A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have made a habit of asking girls I like "were you waiting for me". I do this when visiting a shop, coming to work etc., to gauge their interest in me, from girls I know. I have received emphatic "no's" and I have no doubt that means no, nix, nyet etc.Then I get some "I dunno" "maybe" "where you been". And then there are "yes" "yes, of course" "was waiting for you and only you".Do you think this(plain yes) is a reliable barometer to check interest? Girls, would you answer "yes" if you are not attracted to him? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (26 March 2014):
 ROFLMAO @ Cerberus you just made me spit out my coffee!
To OP, like I said don't play games. If you want to talk to a girl/woman say hi, and have a conversation. We aren't dogs and your "line" isn't a parlor trick that will reveal your true love.
All it reveals, is that you don't know much about women.
So let me get this straights, if she LIES and tell you:" sure I was waiting for you", you think she would be more likely to go out on a date? Seriously? This has actually worked for you?
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2014): OP here. I ask this from girls that I have known for a while and we are generally friendly with each other. And I have noticed they do not creep out, their friendliness doesn't change after this(except the ones responding no, I suppose, or even non answers). Just a last step before asking out.. There is probably more chance of getting rejected than if I ask straight out, but if response is positive it seems to me she will more likely accept my invitation after.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2014): Yeah it's a brilliant one, it's right up there with: "You know receiving oral sex on your period really can reduce cramps and bloating, so next time your aunt Flow's in town, give me a call" then wink at her. Try it, it's as good a line as your one.
OP the best way to gauge interest is to treat women like normal human beings and start a normal conversation with them. If they're happy to talk to you and the conversation is a pleasant one then ask them out.
OP stop viewing them as objects of desire that you need a special key phrase to unlock, it doesn't work like that.
You're asking a question with only one honest answer and that's "no" because the truth is they weren't waiting for you. You're asking them to lie, and from the sounds of things you're neither that disarmingly handsome, nor charming enough to pull off being that "smooth", so just be normal.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (25 March 2014):
 IN any conversational exchange, it is chancy to ask a question which has an answer which can cut short the conversation. For example.... asking your wife: "May I buy a new Corvette?" versus, "What color Corvette do you think I should get?"
As for engaging the ladies, I use this question to guage her interest: "Do you have any plans for the next 25-or-so years?"
Asking an absurd question covers BOTH the "yes/no" phenomenon, AND gives her an opportunity to give you whatever glib answer she may wish..... and her response will give you a good hint about whether or not she wants to start/continue the "conversation" that your question started....
Good luck....
P.S. Other available question-openers: "Are you looking to start a family any time soon?" and, "I think I recognize you; didn't we go to different schools together?" ... which, also, don't work....
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2014): I'd say "not any more" because it sounds so cocky and borderline slimy, sorry :/
Just be nice and not cringey :)
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (25 March 2014):
I agree, this is NOT a good line to gauge much of anything. I'm willing to bet MOST of the girls who says :"you and only you" also want to say:" GET OVER yourself."
It's not cute.
Auntie YouWish is right. It's a bad pick up artist line that doesn't work on most girls.
Now I'm not a girl anymore haven't been for decades, but even back in the stone age when I was in your age-group I would have given you some snarky reply and possibly an eye-roll. And it wouldn't have meant that I was attracted. At all.
Instead, I BET YOU - if you used a hi, how are you? accompanied with a smile will get you FAR more HONEST and SINCERE reactions, then some lame line.
And I also BET, that if you TRIED that line and instead of just listening you LOOKED at them you could tell who found it cringe-worthy and who didn't JUST by their body language.
GIRLS are RAISED to be polite, more so then boys/men. If they are at work they are often putting their best foot forward, specially in the service industry such as a shop/store/bar/restaurant and so forth. BEING polite is part of their job. Even to "laugh" at some lame joke they have heard a million times.
So stop using girls as part of your little ego boost game. If you want to talk to girls, TALK to them.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2014): Cringe!!! No please don't do this?! Sleaze alert!
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2014): I agree with you wish, this makes me cringe.
A lot of girls might reply with 'was waiting for you and only you' and they take it more as a joke. A guy at work is like this, and he acts arrogant as a joke and says lines like this, for instance he might say 'I'm back hope you didn't miss me too much.' However no girls like this, seriously. Also if a random guy said this to be where I work (coffee shop) I would find it creepy.
get the confidence to be honest if you like someone, be yourself
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (25 March 2014):
 Oh *god* no. It comes off as a cheap line, to be honest, along the lines of "How would you like your eggs, fried, scrambled, or fertilized?" In fact, you scare away girls who would be interested in you with that line!
You need confidence that you don't need a gimmick or a line to "gauge" interest. Confident guys simply take the risk, and if you're interested in a girl, you can take the long approach to get to know them, or the direct one and ask for her number and then follow up with a date invite.
The moment you see rejection for what it is and not this ego-devastating monster you're terrified of, you're going to do fantastic. There's a big reason why many players are salespeople - they know that the best salespeople still get rejected more than they score, but they're fearless in closing that sale, and they're not afraid to ask for money or that follow-up. Cheap sales talk makes people run, but well-groomed, eye contact, smiling, and a "Hi, I'm *insert name*" is usually the best approach.
Use your eyes and your ears - a good way to have an in is to listen to them or if you have the ability, to comment on something you see that obviously is important to them. For example, if you're "coming to work" and the woman you're interested in is a co-worker and you happen to visit her office or cube or workspace in the course of business, instead of making the moment creepy and awkward with a line, maybe observe if there's something in her office like artwork, a photo (pets are a plus), or an award or plaque or something, comment on it and ask an open ended question. Example, say she's a cat owner and has a picture of her cats framed (don't laugh! I've seen that!), after your business is concluded, smile and say something like "those kitties are gorgeous! What are their names?" BOOM. I did it myself the other day on business having to visit a client. He has a unique lamp in that the base and the body of it is an upside-down clarinet. I thought that was cool and commented on it and asked him if he made that. He answered that his daughter and he made it together for fun, which got me asking if music ran in their family, and we eventually ended up talking about his daughter's talent and ambition of entering Juilliard. Easy as pie, we established rapport, and I totally disarmed him.
You need to read people and develop that skill, which will get you miles and miles ahead of using lines. Remember, disarm their defenses and connect as a person, rather than lines which raise defenses that may not even have been there before!
Good luck!
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (25 March 2014):
I don't think it's a great way to judge interest since it kind of sounds conceded and some people may answer yes since it may be there job to help you in the first place.
It also could eliminate a girl that likes you because she didn't know how to answer the question.
How many girls have you picked up with this line?
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A
male
reader, devont +, writes (25 March 2014):
 Don't rely on a phrase, but I think being prepared to chat to people is a great way of impressing girls. If you want to use that and it works, great. But I don't think that "were you waiting for me" is the best way to gage a girl's interest in you.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (25 March 2014):
 Is there some reason you can't simply ask the girls you like out for a date? Or a coffee? Are you waiting for them to ask you out or something?
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (24 March 2014):
No, it's not really a good barometer.
If you are asking women who work in shops or as wait staff, remember that their tips and salary depend on ensuring a happy customer.
So let's take the example of a woman who works in cafe. She relies on tips and good customer feedback to keep her job and ensure she is earning enough to make a living.
She cannot afford to offend a longtime customer or she could lose her job.
She would respond to this rather awkward question you pose in the most advantageous way to keep her job. "Yes, Henry, of course we've been waiting for you, here is your double mocha soy latte."
This is a really awkward and strange question to be asking.
How would you answer someone you were NOT waiting for if your livelihood depended on tips and keeping your job?
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