| A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: this sounds silly but i need someone to comment because right now i feel empty and hollow.my best male friend who i met a year ago has just passed his final work assessment. ive seen him from day one when he started and he was extremely fragile as he had split with his wife and was having a lot of personal trauma so if you like i took him under my wing and have basically seen him through his years assessments. Over the past few months hes become more distant as hes gaining confidence but i took these as personal slights which they werent and we ended up having a few rows. its like an injured bird syndrome, i know now he doesnt need my support any more but says im still a friend and im not selfish enough to deny him his success but i cant get over this weird empty feeling. Also i have extremely strong feelings for him and always have had but hes unaware. ive always kept them hidden because of everything.i couldnt tell him anyway as i wouldnt want him knowing about my personal stuff - im in a debt programme thanks to my grasping ex. i just feel so empty and i cant figure out why am i silly ?
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (3 September 2010):
The reason you feel this way is because you've been through a lot yourself, and in a way he provided some support for you. You've been there for him, but at the same time he's been there for you. You helped him, and helping him you felt better and appreciated. You've not had that from your own ex. So, while he's been depending on you, you've been depending on him as much, perhaps even more.
Now he's moving on, and doesn't need to depend on you so much because of his new found confidence. The problem is that you haven't moved on really. You're still as hurt now as you were with your ex. This guy just gave you something to take your mind off things.
so now is the time for you to be focusing on your own life. Make new friends, try to do more with your own career and perhaps even see if this guy is interested in you. I think you need to be living more of your own life, rather than living through his.
A
female
reader, petina1 +, writes (3 September 2010):
 Sounds like he values your friendship but thats all. Why don't y ou confide in him and let him support you through your troubles. Friendship works both ways. He may look at you in a different light if he now sees you have been vunerable yourself. It could change things for you because you will open up more of your self to him instead of holding him up all this time. Hope this helps
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